Bakappuru
by nyappy-tama
Summary: AU/ Kanda certainly didn't ask to be kidnapped by Lavi and his new-age hippie van to go on a cross-country road trip. But when karma tells you to fall in love with a certain white-haired moyashi dragged along for the ride, what could go wrong? /Yullen
1. California: The Kidnapping

**A/N:** Hey everyone! Dunno what happened to caught your interest and made you decided to click on this story. I'm always writing stories and dreaming my little fantasies. However, my love for D.Gray man had finally encouraged me to actually post my story here. I'm a long time reader, but it's my first time posting here, and it's my first major story. This story isn't perfect, not even anywhere close to that state of perfection I wanna believe my writing is. Hope you enjoy anyways!

**Chibi Kanda-** Che, like anyone will waste their time reading your stories.

**Tofu-** Who said that you could comment here?

**Chibi Kanda-** I was forced here...unwillingly. _(points to moyashi and Lavi behind him)_

**Chibi Allen**- It's ALLEN!

**Chibi Lavi**- _(waves a large flag)_ WHOO! Let's get this story started!

**Bakappuru-**

**by Ultimate Stir-Fried Tofu**

**Chibi Lavi- Disclaimer:** Tofu-chan does not own D. Gray man. So she's stuck writing fanfics to waste time before the next chapter comes out.

**Summary-** AU/ Kanda certainly didn't ask to be kidnapped by Lavi and his new-age hippie van to go on a cross-country road trip. But when karma tells you to fall in love with a certain white-haired moyashi, what could go wrong? Yullen

* * *

**Day 1- California: The Kidnapping**

Lavi was a freaking genius. And the best part was that he was well aware of this.

It was hard for him not to acknowledge his own intelligence sometimes. If you were gifted, then why waste that talent by not using it? He always made a habit to take a plunge in his endless fountain of knowledge. After all, one does not become a Bookman by being lazy and lolling around. Although most people would be quick to point out that by saying it aloud, he would be a hypocrite.

Lavi always made a point to skim between the borders of sheer brilliance and complete stupidity. In truth, sometimes there is NO difference between those two.

However, being a genius did not come without its faults. It meant that Lavi saw the world a little _differently_ than others.

This was very dangerous indeed.

When armed with a simple piece of information and his own brilliance, in a matter of minutes Lavi had the makings of a scheme of epic proportions. One that would usually involve the welfare of others dragged unwillingly into his little mess that will quickly turn into a giant pandemonium.

So what managed to spark off this chain of chaotic events? It all started with a phone call from an old friend.

In truth, a back-story will be provided to understand the importance of this phone call.

Lavi, Kanda, Lenalee and Allen were the best of friends (although certain members of this group would say otherwise). It all began in elementary school when a young red-haired boy told his dark-haired _male_ classmate that he thought he looked like a girl... and promptly got beaten up. This was the beginning of a wonderful relationship, one that revolved around constant teasing and death threats. And then they both entered junior high, where the red-haired apparently never learned the meaning of 'go away' and the other boy was unfortunately stuck with him.

There they became friends with two other students (in all due respect_ Lavi_ became their friends, _Kanda_ just sat there and ignored them) and inducted them in their little group. There was a cute Chinese girl who had an over-protective older brother with a sister complex, and a strange white-haired student that looked like he belonged in elementary school. Both were a grade lower than Lavi and Kanda, but they hung out everywhere. And so the four of them became the 'best friends'.

And then things changed last summer, when Lavi and Kanda were about to enter senior year of high school and their younger friends heading to junior year.

Lenalee moved away.

She was uprooted from their little garden patch of friendship and whisked away by the metaphoric wind. Komui worked as a scientist and was given a promotion to teach students at a university. However, by accepting that position it meant moving all the way to the _other_ side of the country. They still managed to stay in touch by emails, phone calls, and their monthly Sunday 'play date', where they gathered and talked through Lavi's webcam.

Then there was **the** phone call.

The one that lead them all into this giant mess.

Lenalee was moving back to L.A, California.

After a year later, she was already coming back home. Apparently her brother decided that they missed home too much and Lenalee was to finish her senior year at her old high school. They were moving back within a month's time, since Komui also had some sort of science convention he had to attend and that would take some time. It would be one happy reunion, filled with tearful hugs and over protective brothers.

Lavi's mind kicked into 'plotting mode' when he heard the news.

If Lenalee was moving back in a month, that also leaves for enough time for a road trip. Already his mind was in over-drive mode and was filling in all the little gaps and details of this plan-that-would-lead-to-no-good. Yes, he could drive all the way across the country, pick up Lenalee and then head back home. And along the way, who's to say he couldn't stop at a couple of places and sight see?

And then, Lavi smirked.

Of course, a road trip is no fun without your friends.

* * *

Kanda hated Monday mornings.

It was up there on his top 10 most hated list, along with sweet things, naïve people and a certain white-haired moyashi. Although Kanda will have to take into account on the latter part of his list. After all, just how many moyashis did he know that also happen to have white hair?

Going back to his original statement, Kanda has never woken up happy on a Monday morning. Actually, it was a fact that Kanda never woke up happy at all. _Period._ After a weekend of rest and focusing on his sword training, he never really liked being reminded that he had to return to school the following day. Although, he always had high grades and was top of his class, he didn't like school. He hated talking to other people and everyone at his school seem to irritate him.

There was a lot of things he didn't like.

Of course, he had graduated from high school not a week ago. So, he was hoping that Monday mornings would change when the summer began and he didn't have to listen to an annoying red-haired Bookman, or dart glances at his shorter-but-equally-naïve Moyashi.

Oh, how dreadfully wrong Yuu was.

And so, as Kanda woke up he could tell that something was very wrong.

For one thing, he -_or something_- was moving, and that was never a good thing. There was also the hazy wakening that was associated with a hangover…or after consuming lot of sleeping pills drugs. He was also tied up with rope and duct tape on his hands and feet. And there was a large chain wrapped around his entire body, binding him so he could hardly move an inch.

_Hello._ This sobered things up pretty quickly.

Wide awake, Kanda realized he was in the back seat of a moving van, and he glared daggers at the rear view mirror. Even without the view of the mirror, the back of the driver's seat couldn't block the familiar head of red hair. The red hair of an evil master mind genius.

He. was. so. dead.

"LAVI! What the fuck do you think you're doing? UNTIE ME!"

Lavi, to owe him some credit, didn't crash the van due to the sound of Kanda's outraged yells. Instead his only action was to grin a deranged smile at the mirror. "Yuu-pon! You finally woke up! Good, I was beginning to think I might have given you too many sleeping pills."

Kanda's head snapped up. "WHAT?"

"Well, you see I knew you would never agree to what I had planned, and it's not like I could've left you behind! So I went into your room when you were sleeping and I might have- kinda forced a handful of sleeping pills into your mouth."

"I WILL KILL YOU. I will kill you right now, and make it look like a bloody accident."

The deadly tone of Kanda's voice frightened Lavi a little. He was used to death threats, he got them every single day. After all, one does not become friends with Kanda without suffering from a couple of -_ahem_- threats, which Lavi usually believes to be Kanda's way of showing emotions. But, Lavi forgot one important thing.

Thou shall never fuck around when there's a dangerous kidnapped Japanese samurinja in the back seat of their van.

"You see, I've always had a thing about bodily dismemberment so-"

"Lavi, there's not even gonna be a body to find when I'm done with you."

And Lavi knew that Kanda was _completely serious_. "Can you at least promise me that I'll die painlessly?"

"I'm not making any promises I can't keep."

Lavi decided to shut his mouth right now, as to ensure the remaining safety of the organs he currently had. He avoided looking in the mirror, because Kanda was trying to kill Lavi with his sight alone, or sheer willpower. Either way, the glare was freaking him out.

And when Kanda realized that his death glare was having no effect when he can't _look_ at the target, he tried a different method. Talking his way out.

"Lavi. Why am I tied up?"

"Well, I was planning to defile your body for a bit." Kanda emitted a deep growl. "But, instead we're taking a cross country road trip to pick up our precious Lenalee! Isn't it going to be fun? It's just gonna be you, me and moyashi-kun on the road for the next month!"

At the sound of 'moyashi-kun' Kanda gave a quick glance at the van's surroundings. It seems in his initial panic and outrage he seem to have missed the white-haired boy. Allen was located on right side and was pressed tightly up against Kanda, he using his side as a make-shift human pillow. If Kanda had a heart, he would have described the way his lashes casted soft shadows on his face, and the way the sun hit Allen's white hair so it appeared silver and shining. The peaceful serene look on his soft features, and the steady tiny rise and falls of his breathing. He gave short light snores in his sleep that sounded almost musical.

Then there was the uncomfortable skip in his heartbeat that always happened when Allen was around.

But Kanda believes in bliss in denial, so he chose to ignore those details and focus on one important fact-

"Why the fuck am I tied up but he isn't?"

"See, I only had enough material to tie one of you up properly, so neither of you would harm me. Well, I asked myself, 'which one of my friends is likely to wake up in a homicidal rage and slaughter me in a bloody fiasco when he finds out I've kidnapped him?'"

"And you thought of me. I'm flattered."

"Oh, don't be! Now, I'm blushing!"

"When moyashi wakes up we're both kicking your ass and beating you to a pulp."

Lavi turned his grinning face into one that looked very guilty and embarrassed. He gave a light chuckle and started scratching the back of his head. "Yeah, that's the thing…I'm not actually sure when he's gonna wake up."

"WHAT?"

"See, after I kidnapped you I decided to go get Allen, but sadly he was already awake. And you know how much our little moyashi likes to eat, he had already cooked up this huge breakfast. So I wasn't sure what I should stuff the sleeping pills into, and we were kinda on a tight schedule as it was. In the end, I just dropped a buncha them into his coffee and forced it down his throat. I think I gave him too much though." He added the last part as an afterthought.

"That has got to be the stupidest thing you've done! No. This whole trip is stupid! When I get my Mugen I'm gonna slice-"

Kanda stopped his angry rant when a sudden wave of dizziness washed over him. Confused he shook his head, but that only made him feel faint. All of a sudden, he started feeling kinda light-headed and very sleepy. Through his darken haze he could hear Lavi say-

"Whoops. Looks like the after effects are kicking in. Nighty, night Yuu."

He couldn't lift up his heavy eyelids and there was this soothing sense shooting through his body, a feeling that he couldn't fight off. Kanda felt himself relax and fell back alongside Allen, until he was pressed up against the smaller boy. He felt all warm and tingly, and was aware of Allen's body heat escaping into his.

He was starting to wish he had never woken up.

* * *

**Chibi Kanda/Allen-** (_glares)_

**Tofu-** _(sweats)_ I swear, I HAD to drug you! Otherwise, you've never agreed to this road trip and then the plot wouldn't have gone anywhere!

**Chibi Allen-** Did you ever thought about asking us?

**Tofu-** ...Would you have still done it?

**Chibi Kanda**- HELL NO!

**Tofu-** And that's why I didn't ask. (_avoids getting cut by Mugen)_ Careful! I have insurance, and I'll sue the Innocence outta Yu!


	2. California: The Hitchhiker

**Tofu-** No way. _(blinks. stares at her stats page.) _Seriously? _(clicks refresh. blinks again)_ There's actually people reading this? You guys are just amazing!

**Chibi Lavi- **What's up with Tofu-saa?

**Chibi Allen-** She's just in a state of shock that anyone actually clicked on her fic…and actually reviewed.

**Chibi Lavi-** So she has been sitting there the whole week clicking refresh on her stats page over and over again? _(Allen nods)_ Well, that's kinda-

**Chibi Kanda-** Pathetic.

**Tofu- **Watch your mouth BaKanda! Thanks to all my pretty readers! I would give you all cake and cookies, but someone ate them all _(looks at Allen)_

**Chibi Allen- **I said I was sorry! Look! I'll even share my dango! … On second thought, just be happy with this new chapter/update.

**Chibi Kanda- Disclaimer:** No, Tofu doesn't own D.Gray man. And she would really like to lay claim on Allen, but there's no way you're getting your hands on him!

* * *

**Day 2- California (somewhere): The Hitch-hiker**

Even before Allen woke up, he knew that something was terribly out of place.

It might have been due to the fact that Timcanpy was more frantic this morning than usual. The golden golem was pulling sharply on Allen's hair, and even biting his fingers! Allen figured that when Cross came home, he's gonna tell his no good scientist/inventor of a guardian to next time- invent something that won't bite him! Of course, he was gonna make sure that Cross was _sober_ first.

It might have been due to the fact that when he opened his eyes, he realized he was curled up in the backseat of a van stopped on the side of the road. The first thing he saw was Lavi draped over the steering wheel, a messy head of vivid red hair covered by Lavi's trademark headband which he refused to take off. Light snoring came from the sleeping boy, with mumbles of something having to do with 'giant attacking ninja-pandas'. Somehow this made Allen smile.

But it definitely wasn't due to the fact that Allen just realized he was very comfortably curled up against a sleeping Kanda.

No, not at all.

Allen let out a girly shriek.

Wait a moment...In his defense, Allen would like to clarify that it was a very manly scream of distress. ...Of course you do Allen.

And this girly shriek of distress managed to wake up everyone the surrounding 50ft radius. Including everyone in the van.

Lavi shoot straight up, like as though there were fangirls in the surrounding area, and looked like a bunny caught in a trap. Glancing around, he saw what had woken him on this fine Tuesday morning. Allen was pressing himself to the right corner, trying to blend in with the walls of the van. As far away as he could get from a recently woken (and still very angry) Kanda, who was still tied up.

"Baka, get these things off me!" Kanda gestured angrily at his bindings, "And, tell moyashi to shut up! Better yet, feed him another sleeping pill."

If Lavi was more awake, he would have said something, but he figured he owe them an explanation. So he quickly untied Kanda, throwing the restraints into the back (he thought they might serve a purpose in the future). After managing to calm Allen down, he was able to explain everything to the scared moyashi.

"Let me get this straight." said Allen, relaxed and staring at Lavi in a mixture of wonder and disbelief. "So you decided to kidnap Kanda and I, so we could travel from L.A. California all the way to Connecticut. Which is, if I remembered correctly, all the way on the _other _side of the country. So we could rescue Lenalee from the horrors of suburbia life. And along the way of your plan, you decided to drug us. Because apparently, asking for our opinions if we wanted to be drugged or not, was completely out of the question."

Lavi nodded happily. "A friend is someone who helps you when you're in need. A real friend is someone that's willing to kidnap their friends for a road trip regardless of their opinions. Just for the hell of it!"

"Lavi, I agree with Kanda. YOU'RE COMPLETELY INSANE!"

"Of course I am! Life would be so boring if I wasn't!" he cried. There was no need to comment on this statement.

"Baka usagi said he dropped some sleeping pills in your coffee." Kanda stated. "Aren't they suppose to cancel each other out or something?"

Lavi had the nerve to actually laugh in embarrassment. "You see...the coffee was actually decaf."

Allen glared daggers at his friend. Due to his freakishly fast metabolism, normal effects of coffee and other types of food usually happened right after he ate them. It was no wonder that he slept for an entire day! But he was more curious to where they were.

"Lavi, where are we?"

The red-haired boy frowned, while he started the van and began to drive. "Hmm...I'm not exactly sure. Somewhere in California I think. We'll just ask for directions!"

"It's too early in the morning for me to deal with this shit." Kanda growled. "Just look outside to see if there's a gas station or something."

Allen quickly peered outside. The landscape was very flat with mountains in the distance, and hardly any trees. He thought he saw something up ahead.

"Hey! I think there's someone over there we can ask for help!"

"...Moyashi...that's a fucking cactus."

Allen did a double-take and blushed deep red as they drove pass the cactus. Lavi was crying tears of laughter, slapping the wheel in his little fit. Kanda just sat there and smirked. An evil, mocking, 'in-your-face', 'you-just-got-burned' smirk.

"Shut it, BaKanda."

"Che. Baka moyashi."

"You have something you wanna say?" Allen asked, growing angrier at the Japanese. Lavi quickly intervened to prevent any bloodshed.

"Now, now. There's no need to fight." he tried, "Just remember- if there's any fighting going on in the back, I'm charging both of you for the damages."

"Tax included?"

"Of course, moyashi-kun!" Lavi cried cheerfully. Allen frowned at the thought of having to pay even more debt, but the sudden growling of his stomach distracted him from making any complains. He felt starved having not eaten anything for a day!

"Lavi is there anything to eat?"

The red-head lifted his head at the request "Huh? Well, there should be a bag of food in the back. Go check it out."

Indeed there was. The back of the van was filled with several backpacks and suitcases. Allen was able to locate the bag stuffed with packaged food and emitted a loud squeal. He lunged at the pack and literally tore into the bag of chocolate chip cookies, eating them at an inhuman speed.

"Lavi, what did you pack? Hey, you even got our clothes in here!" he exclaimed through the crumbs.

"Well, of course. It's gonna take at least a month to make a round-trip and go back. We're going to be staying in hotels every other night, and sleeping in the van too. So, I managed to grab a couple of bags of clothes while you guys were knocked out. Oh, and your cell phones and wallets are in the back too."

"At least this idiot thought ahead." Kanda muttered quietly.

"Kanda, play nice. Here have a cookie." Allen said, offering a single cookie while stuffing the rest in his mouth.

"But I don't _want _a cookie." he frowned, he was starting to lose his grip. What kind of comeback was _that_? "Is there any soba or something else?"

Allen quickly sorted through the packages. "Sorry, they don't package instant soba. There's ramen though."

"Che. Pass."

Lavi looked up in shock. "But Yuu-bon! Ramen is the food of gods! You better belie-"

His sentence came to a sudden halt when the familiar blade of Mugen was pressed against his throat.

"You better not even be thinking of finishing that."

Lavi nodded quickly, not wanting to prove if Kanda was willing to follow through with his silent threat. He didn't relax until the cold metal blade of the katana disappeared into the backseat. Allen seemed shaken at what he had just witnessed.

"YOU BROUGHT MUGEN ALONG?"

"It's not like I had a choice!" Lavi cried in protest, "Yuu-kun actually sleeps with the sword! I swear, it took an hour just to pry it out of Kanda's grip!"

"He sleeps with Mugen?" Allen turned to stare at his friend. "You mean like a teddy-bear or something?"

"It's for protection!" Kanda sneered. The moyashi then had the nerve to laugh uncontrollably in his face.

"I'm sure Kanda! From what? The dark?"

Then, the katana-wielding swordsman shoot a glare, so icy and freezing, that made Allen stop laughing immediately.

"Shut the hell up, moyashi."

* * *

They finally managed to find a gas station about ten miles later.

Allen was truly glad to get out of the van after the long ride. It gave him time to stretch his muscles after being cramped in the back for so long, not to mention being out cold for all of yesterday. Timcanpy flew happily in the air. Lavi was up ahead taking to a guy called Toma to ask for directions. He was the one with the photographic memory (not even bothering to mention Kanda's lack of people skills and Allen's lack of direction).

Kanda had taken one step out of the van, turned around to look at the vehicle and muttered the following obscenity in horror-

**"HELL NO."**

Back awhile ago, right after Lavi had gotten his driver's license, he had gone out and bought the first car he could with his budget. It seem that the only thing within Lavi's budget was a beaten up Volkswagen Type 2. Considering he didn't have much money to begin with, it was amazing he even got anything with wheels. Kanda had taken one look at the pile of junk and had christen it 'the hippie van.'

Two years later, and tons of repair jobs later, it looked a lot better. The old paint was now covered in a custom design paint job that would leave a rainbow looking dull and gray compared to it. It was covered in peace symbols and lots of swirly designs that could induce seizures with one glance.

Lavi had affectionately dubbed it 'Eureka.'

Kanda had decided to re-christen it- 'the new-age hippie van.'

"I'm **NOT **riding in this." Kanda vowed venomously. Allen couldn't help but silently agree with him. Suddenly, they saw Lavi running their way with a very large cup of coffee in his hands.

"Okay, everyone get in the back now!" Lavi cried jumping happily into the driver's seat. As long as he was still hyped up on coffee, all was right with the universe. Allen and Kanda shared an awkward glance at each other. But it was Allen that decided to speak up.

"Wait, Lavi. You don't seriously mean that you're driving do you?"

Lavi shoot him a look at said 'No, duh' and proudly stated. "Eureka belongs to me, so I'm the only one allowed to drive her!"

Kanda gave loud groan, and resisted the urged to hit his forehead out of frustration. "Fuck, he was serious about naming the fucking piece of metal."

You know how everything was right with the universe? Well, that universe just self-destructed.

"KANDA! Eureka has feelings too! Just for that you get a time-out mister!" Lavi appeared outraged and there was an evil look in his visible eye, which Allen had usually used to described when Kanda was in his 'rage mode.'

"...The fuck?"

"Kanda, I want you to think about what you just said in your little corner of emo! I'm not speaking to you until you apologize to Eureka!" he pointed to the left side of the back seat.

The look on Lavi's face left no room for questioning or negotiations. They weren't completely sure if it was due to the buzz of the caffeine rush that was making him act this way, but there was no point arguing with him now. Kanda looked at him disbelief, before giving a silent huff.

"...Ass tart."

Cheerfully, Lavi turned around to look at Allen, who couldn't help but be freaked out by his odd behavior. "Now is there a problem with me driving Allen? I have a license and I swear, I passed the test with flying colors and everything!"

"Oh, it's nothing really..."

"No, tell me what's wrong."

"Well, it's the thing...about your eyes...or rather your eye." Allen mumbled, trying not to look at anyone.

"What about it?"

"...Lavi do you even have _**depth perception**_?"

There was a quiet moment of silence.

"...this is coming from cactus boy?"

"IT WAS THE SUMMER HEAT!" Allen yelled at Kanda, who just smirked winningly. The arrogant jerk!

"Allen, I'm gonna pretend that I didn't hear what you just said." Lavi smiled mysteriously, as though he had no care in the world. Although behind that simple facade he was plotting the revenge he would extract later on. "That being said- Let's move out!"

Allen and Kanda broke their glare-off are turned away from each other. Kanda sat at the left side as indicated by Lavi, and Allen faced the right window. Allen decided that his stupid Japanese friend was not going to spoil the rest of the road trip, and proceed to ignore anything related to Kanda.

True to his word, Lavi didn't speak to Kanda at all. Still peeved that his precious Eureka was insulted, he sat there driving away, but in reality he was already plotting the reveng- oh, wait. That was typed out already...nevermind...

Lavi was busy plotting the revenge he would take upon Kanda and Allen.

* * *

Allen looked out the window, and was not surprise to see nothing but flat land, and miles and miles of nothing but grass and dead insects on the windows. Lovely.

They had been driving for endless hours. It was near dark and from the direction of the road, it looked like they were driving off into the sunset. But the sky was still alit a very nice deep blue, not dark enough to call night time yet. And the clouds appeared pinkish-purple with faint silver linings at the outlines.

Realizing he would put him in a coma if he continued to gaze off into the distance, he decided to see what everyone in Eureka was doing instead. Lavi was humming to a catchy tune on the radio, some new pop song that Allen couldn't identify. He had that wide eccentric look in his eye (the one uncovered of course), the kind of look you see in someone that just recently consumed a LOT of caffeine.

Timcanpy was nested in Allen's hair, it was his favorite place to sleep in the entire world.

Kanda was seated far away from Allen; the middle seat of empty air was separating them both in the back seat. He had rested his left cheek on his palm, and the arm was currently hanging outside the open window. He didn't even make the effort to look remotely interested. The wind whipped his hair in all different directions, several strands had come undone from his white ribbon tie. His black hair usually had a blue shine, and in the casting shadows of the sky, the color seem even more vivid and luminous. Kanda's pink tongue darted out and wetted his rather dry lips, and Allen couldn't tear himself away from the sight.

The atmosphere must have been playing tricks on Allen. Kanda looked so mysterious and enigmatic, even more than he usually looked. To his amazement, he saw that Kanda's eyes were not the cold black color he regularly saw in glares, but a really deep blue. It was like the deepest color of cobalt Allen has ever saw.

And that set of dark blue eyes were now set in a hard glare. At Allen.

"Quit doing that, I feel violated."

Allen blinked. "I'm just staring."

"And it's violating me!"

Lavi didn't even try to hide the enormous laugh that erupted out loud, and he didn't stop laughing until he also choked on the absurdity of it all. If they didn't know any better, someone would have thought he was having a seizure. Kanda glared even more and turned the other way.

Allen blinked once, twice, came to the sudden realization that he had just been 'checking Kanda out', blushed a deep red that would've rivaled Lavi's hair color and quickly turned the other way.

Yes, denial was quite an interesting dilemma.

So Allen was back to staring at the landscape in an effort not to look at Kanda again. Although this time it was an entirely different reason altogether. Looking up ahead he noticed there was a figure at his side of the road. At first he thought that it was the sunset just playing tricks on his eyesight again, but when the figure stumbled, he came to the conclusion that it was a real person.

"Hey Lavi, slow down for a moment. I think there's someone up ahead."

Lavi immediately stopped his laughing and perked up. "Really? Allen, are you sure it's not just a cactus again?"

Kanda couldn't resist himself. He smirked, and Allen really wished that he could wipe that sneering grin off Kanda's pretty face. No matter how pretty it was.

"Yes, I'm quite sure it's NOT a cactus. Look." he pointed at the blurry outlines of the figure. "See? There's someone out there. And- I think it just fainted..."

"Hey, maybe it could be some hitch hiker!" Lavi cried in excitement.

To Kanda's horror, the van -_ahem_- Eureka started drifting to the right side of the road. And to his increasing terror they were starting to slow down. Luckily, it was Allen that voiced out his opinion.

"Lavi! What do you think you're doing!?"

"Pulling over so we can pick the hitch hiker up. DUH."

To everyone surprise, it was Allen that dove between the driver and passenger's seat. He tried to shove Lavi's hand away from the wheel and made to move the van back on the highway. Timcanpy circled around their heads, obviously in a state of panic.

"The fuck, moyashi?" asked a shocked Kanda. He was gonna get them all in serious trouble if the van crashed.

"Are you crazy Lavi?" shrieked Allen, still trying to gain control over Eureka.

"Nope. But I'm starting to think YOU are!"

"Haven't you ever seen those early horror slashers movies? You know, the ones with the crazy hitch hiker that murders everyone in the car with his chainsaw? Or even listen to the news? I'm pretty sure there was a report about some wandering rapist on the loose last week!"

"But what if it's just a normal dude that got thrown out of a van, 'cause his friends were losers? Or it could be someone that got hurt and is suffering from heat stroke! You wouldn't want him to die just because you thought he would hurt you, do you Allen?"

Kanda could see that Allen's resolve was breaking. The moyashi's heart was too soft and Allen had on a wavering face.

"Baka, keep driving this stupid van. We're not picking anybody up."

Lavi decided to ignore Kanda, and teased him in a sing-y song voice- "I said I'm not talking to you Yuu-rin! Not 'til you say 'Sorry!'"

"Baka usagi. Do you _want _to be horribly massacred and torn apart by a chainsaw-wielding psychopath?" Kanda asked raising an eyebrow at the red-haired driver. Allen and Timcanpy nodded furiously along to Kanda's suggestion.

Lavi blinked his only eye. "Is this a trick question?"

"I really don't think it is such a good idea to suddenly pick up random people, Lavi." the white-haired boy tried to reason.

"Don't worry about it!" Lavi said in a voice that made Kanda and Allen want to get out of the van as fast as they can. "Look, I'm stopping."

"BAKA LAVI! NO!"

But Lavi decided to ignore Allen's cries of protest and threw open the passenger side door. "Hey, there! Need a lift?"

Contrary to Allen's previous warnings of chainsaw-wielding murderers and potential rapists, this person did not fit into either of those categories.

It was a young girl about 17 years old, but it was clear that she stood no taller than Allen's height. She looked like she was from an Asian background, judging from her features and sunburned skin. She had short straight black hair that was barely shoulder length, with bright red highlights at the ends. Bangs hung in front of her deep blue eyes, which were open at surprise at Lavi's offer.

It looked like she had gotten kicked out of a van, fallen into a ditch and was run over, _repeatedly_. Her white tank-top had many stains, some looked like she had gotten from a fight. A red jacket was tied around her waist, but it was her shoes that caught their attention.

They were _green_ converse shoes.

"STRIKE!!" Lavi cried, with hearts appearing and everything. Kanda instantly smacked him with Mugen from the back, Timcanpy began attacking his hair, and Allen decided to throw a discarded boot at Lavi's head.

"It depends." She answered back. "Where are you punks heading?"

"San Francisco." Lavi replied with a jerk of his head.

The girl smirked, and started to approached Eureka. "Awesome! I'm going the same way."

"What happened to your ride?" Allen asked, looking in concern at the girl. She gave a one-armed shrugged.

"The school was having a summer trip for a tour of the city or something. Anyways, on the bus ride some jerk decided to start picking a fight with me. And then, we kinda started this whole battle royale thing in the middle of the bus. So the bus driver kicked me out and I was stuck walking the rest of the way."

"That's too bad." Allen commented, his heart going out to her current situation. And Lavi nodded along in agreement. Even Timcanpy looked close to tears.

Kanda 'che'd' at her story, only a van full with sympathetic morons would really believe such a tale.

"Aww!" Lavi sniffed. "Well, we'll drive you where ever you need to go!"

It suddenly occurred to Kanda that out of the entire population of idiots he could be stuck on a road trip to hell with, he was trapped with his _**'friends'**_.

That by itself, was enough to make him consider seppuku.

"Hop right in." Lavi said to the girl, and she quickly climbed into the passenger seat.

"Thanks. I'm really glad you guys stopped when you did! Man, I thought I was gonna die in the heat!"

Allen looked a little worried as she sat down, Timcanpy had settled down and was nested in his bed of hair. "There's nothing any dangerous in that, this there?" asked a skeptical Allen, looking at the single-strap messenger bag she had over her left shoulder.

"Nah." She said. "It's not like I could hide a chainsaw or anything in there."

Two members of the group laughed nervously. "No, course not."

"After all, if I really wanted to hurt somebody, then I'll just use my fists and bare knuckles. A classic one-on-one fight. A chainsaw's messy and hard to hide. Of course, a weapon would also be an ideal choice. Wish it was legal that we can carry around katanas and swords. There's nothing that beats a finely made Japanese katana, and nothing deadlier than the sharp edge of a blade of a swordsman."

Allen and Lavi paled instantly at her suggestion, both looked a ghostly-white.

Kanda smirked. Looks like he had made a new friend.

"By the way, my name is Rain."

* * *

The Golden Gate Bridge stood high and regal in the dark twilight sky. Brightly lit, golden lights flooded through the grand red arches and the towering pillars. Hundreds of cars were all currently stuck in traffic on the bridge, an endless array of dotted colors. There was the sound of sea gulls, honking and definite signs of road rage in the background. It was a large magnificent landmark, the entrance in front of the sparkling city of San Francisco.

Lavi had spent at least a full five minutes gawking at the monument in utter amazement. He probably would have stayed like that for quite awhile, if it wasn't for an angry Kanda yelling for 'the baka usagi' to stop blocking traffic and get a 'fucking move on it already.'

"Kanda," Allen signed, frustrated at the situation they were stuck in, "We're in the middle of rush hour, we can't move anywhere."

"And isn't our luck that we're stuck on one of the world's most famous bridges!" Lavi said excitedly "There's no other way we could get a better look at the view!"

"You can get a good look at the bridge when we're at our fucking hotel room!"

"Tsk, tsk Yuu-chan." shook a head of red hair, "Don't you have any interests in the sites we're gonna see on this trip?"

"Okay, here's the thing." Kanda explained very patiently, like as though he was talking to a van filled with idiots. Which he sadly realized, he actually was. "_This-_" he gestured to the outside of his window. "-is the view of _an 'effing bridge_. I have seen tons of bridges before. The only difference is that I was unwillingly dragged here to see this stupid bridge. I've been drugged, tied up in bondage, and stuck in the backseat with moyashi in a hippie van for the last 48 hours. I am not happy. I am not interested. If there's someone hijacking this piece of junk, I'll actually stop and help them. Until we're back home- **Shut the fucking hell up**!"

Allen swore that this was the longest he had ever hear Kanda talk. When he wasn't sprouting out death threats and Japanese curses, of course.

"..." The members of the van were very silent.

"Is he on permanent PMS or something?" spoke Rain from up front. The hitch-hiker they had picked up didn't look shocked at the rant. She was smirking instead.

"Or something." voiced Allen. Rain nodded, and smiled mysteriously, as though it answered everything.

"You!" Kanda turned to look directly at Allen, who met his glare evenly. "You annoy me the most."

"I feel the same way,_ BaKanda_." he sneered, not letting the other person get the best of him.

The only female in Eureka then let out a long laugh. Apparently, they had all missed some huge joke that only Rain understood.

"You alright?" asked Lavi, looking warily at the laughing girl. She managed a feeble 'just fine' between her chuckles. "Well, now that that's over, I shall now grace all of you with my entire knowledge of this majestic bridge."

Considering that Lavi possessed a photographic memory filled with tons of information he had ever read, and the fact that he was always saying odd facts that only someone like him would know, it was gonna take a long time. By the time they finished with the trip, he'll still be stuck on the infrastructure of the bridge.

Allen paled considerably. "That's not necessarily La-"

"The Golden Gate Bridge," began Lavi, in a voice that reminded everyone of a pompous tour guide. "-is the second longest suspension bridge built in-"

"Not interested." said Kanda in a dead tone.

"I'm going to pretend I had no idea what Yuu just said." ignored Lavi. "There has been many, many documented cases of suicide jumpers throughout the decades. The bridge is a frequent site for suicide."

"Lavi, if you don't shut the hell up, I'm gonna _throw you off the effing bridge_!"

There was total silence.

For like, two seconds.

"_So,_ your name is Rain." Lavi tried to struck some conversation with the newest member of Eureka's travelling crew. The tomboy-ish girl had been listening to their bickering in amusement, but did not say anything expect for the occasional snicker that escaped her lips.

"Well, it was the last time I checked."

"Nice. Anyways, I'm Lavi. The white-haired midget is Allen Walker," a loud cry of protest arose from the back, but Lavi promptly ignored that, "But we call him moyashi 'cause that's Kanda's pet name for him. And the emo-brooding Asian in the back is Yuu Kanda, although we call him Yuu to annoy him."

"BaKanda also works!" piped up Allen. Kanda let out a threatening growl at the nicknames they were giving him.

"You're still always gonna be a moyashi." he shot back, "And, don't listen to anything the baka usagi has to say."

"And BaKanda is BaKanda." smiled Allen. "So don't worry if he treat you like a jerk. That's just his default attitude!"

"Che. I'm always angry, it's being stuck with you idiots that gets on my nerves!"

"Which is all the time!" said Allen, "Face it Kanda- you're emotionally retarded."

"Interesting." Rain nodded grinning. "And you're all best friends."

"If you use that term loosely." said Allen, jerking his head in Kanda's direction.

"Yep!" cried the ever-cheerful Lavi. "Now, the introductions are outta the way. Mind if I call you Ri-chan?"

Instantly, her normal, happy face turned into an icy cold glare that made Lavi stiffen in terror, and Allen tremble in his seat. Kanda sat there and did nothing.

"Call me that and _I'll_ be the one tossing you over the side of the effing bridge."

* * *

**Chibi Allen-** We're all gonna die in the next chapter aren't we?

**Chibi Lavi-** What? But she's so CUTE!! _(pinches Rain's cheeks)_

**Chibi Rain-** _(pouts)_ Don't call me cute!

**Tofu- **Lavi, that's actually sorta dangerous. So, I wouldn't-

**Chibi Lavi- **SO KAWAII!! _(pokes)_

**Chibi Rain-** I'LL CUT YOU! _(Allen hands her Mugen and watches her chase Lavi around)_

**Chibi Allen- **...Kanda's Innocence was stolen.

**Chibi Kanda-** _(mediating)_ ...Wait-WHAT?

**Tofu-** _(giggles) _Haha. I get it. Wasn't planning on an OC appearing, yet. I kinda like her...hmm...should she stay?

**Reviewers-** Thanks for all your reviews! I'm open to any new ideas/plotlines you wanna see happen! Feel free to share! Add a little criticism too. Just saying update faster isn't gonna help improve my writing. (which need lots of help)


	3. San Francisco: The Vanjacking

**Tofu-** I figured a couple of things out while writing this fic. Firstly, Allen scoot over, Kanda has become my new favorite character.

**Chibi Allen-** HEY! I've been demoted? _(glares at a smirking Kanda)_

**Tofu-** _(ignores fighting in the background)_ Writing gives you the most wonderful feeling! Reviews have become my new anti-drug!

**Chibi Rain-** I'll say that it has become your new addiction.

**Tofu-** _(continues ignoring)_ There's always a chance for improvement! Especially for lost causes like myself! Expect- don't ever, EVER give your hard-core DGM friends a sneak preview of your next chapter. 'Cause one of them demands that there should be logical reasons why stuff appear in the 'Bakappuru universe' as they do.

**Note- Bakappuru will be updated every Tuesday or sometime during the week…except on special occasions.**

**Chibi Kanda-** This can be loosely translated to- _'whenever the hell she feels like updating.'_

**Tofu-** Ehh... _(scratch back of head nervously)_

**Chibi Lavi- Disclaimer:** This disclaimer has been approved by the fans of D.Gray man. Proving that Tofu-chan does **NOT** own the characters of D.Gray man.

* * *

**Day 3- San Francisco: The Vanjacking**

The room they had gotten had only two beds. Kanda had immediately claimed one of the beds for himself, and threaten to harm anyone that even thinks about sleeping together. Everyone was used to his threats so it had no effect. Allen was surprised to see that he kept Mugen near by the bed post. Paranoid bastard.

Rain had taken one look at Mugen, and her whole body seem to glow with excitement, eyes widen with a starry look in them. This tomboy had an affinity with sharp pointy weapons that could hurt people. Kanda had seen her eyeing his sword and promised a quick, deadly, painful death if she so much as breathes near Mugen. The hitch hiker was left sulking in the corner muttering about 'lucky bastards.'

Allen and Lavi had insisted that Rain take the other bed. But she shocked them by, literally, dropping onto one of the comfy armchair and falling asleep immediately.

So Lavi had taken resident of the other bed and Allen slept on the couch.

This bed arrangement was decided by a game of rock-paper-scissors, where Allen discovered that although he maybe the king of poker, he had epically lost against Lavi. Five times in a row. They would've settled the score with a death match, but Kanda didn't want them touching Mugen.

Allen was usually a early riser, and not surprised to see he was the first one wake that morning.

Lavi was sprawled across his bed, limbs dangling off the sides, and he quietly snored. He occasionally rolled around in his sleep, throwing the sheets in disarray and getting more tangled in the blankets. Of course he was very tired, Lavi was the one driving Eureka all day long and making sure that no one died yet.

Kanda was a different matter. He was the same asleep as he was awake. Silent and very deadly.

With Mugen at the side, Allen had no doubts that the swordsman would quickly detain anyone that happens to disturb him. Still Allen couldn't help but appreciate the sight of sleeping Kanda, from a far-away, safe distance. He was always so cold and anti-social, it was refreshing seeing this other side to him. His eyes traced over the relaxed look on Kanda's face, the normally frowning mouth was open slightly. His face held some sort of angelic beauty. Sure, Kanda had always looked very pretty, but it seem even more eternal when he was asleep. He slept on his left side, curled up with his left cheek on the pillow. His long hair was free from its usual braid and spread out over the white sheets and pillows. Allen couldn't help but let his eyes wander.

Allen blinked. What was wrong with him?

"Ouch!"

The white-haired boy snapped out of his daze and turned to look at the forgotten hitch-hiker, waking from her armchair/bed. She looked as though she didn't get enough sleep, having been woken by Timcanpy biting her. Rain sucked on her bleeding finger before taking a closer look at the thing she caught in her other hand.

"The fuck is this is?"

"Ah, sorry!" Allen glared at his golem. "That's Timcanpy, he's my golem. See, my guardian is an inventor/scientist. He's pretty well-known...for certain reasons. Anyways, he was trying to invent something that would help with expeditions and gathering data from places we can't easily reach. So, Timcanpy was made when he was researching. "

"Aren't golems supposed to be black and bat-design shaped?" the black-haired girl questioned watching Tim whiz through the air.

"Those are the mainstream ones that companies use." he said, letting Timcanpy land on his hands. "But Tim here is the original prototype and has a little more extra features installed in him. Recording images, locating items/people, lots of stuff like-"

"Biting you to death?"

Allen laughed. "Sorry about that. He makes for a good alarm clock though. That is- if you don't mind bleeding to death through the stumps of your fingers."

"That's gotta be a killer to explain on the autopsy report." Rain laughed along. "So, where are you guys headed?"

"Originally Kanda and I were kidnapped by Lavi. See, Lavi was planning this little road trip to pick up our friend Lenalee, who lives all the way on the other side of the country in Connecticut. She was planning on moving back to our hometown L.A. California. Then along the way, things got a little... messed up."

"I'll say. Most people won't normally stop to pick up a hitch hiker." she agreed. "And all of you are friends?"

Allen laughed embarrassedly. "They're my best friends in the entire world, and we're all pretty tight. It's like our own little gang of friendship. Looking at us, you'll never know that. I think it's the fact that we can argue endlessly, but still stick together that kinda confuse others. We're certainly a very odd group of people."

"Well, you got a suicidal hyperactive bunny at the wheel, a short tempered Japanese samurinja and a white-haired moyashi in denial." she listed on her fingers. "And they're all stuck in a van on this little field trip to hell. Chances are- things are gonna get pretty fucked up."

"In denial?" asked a confused Allen.

The only girl in the room smiled, before turning to look at him. He was very well familiar with the particular look in her blue eyes, he got it all the time when Lavi was just about to explain his next evil plan of genius. Which usually got them into heaps of trouble and lead to Kanda chasing after them with Mugen shouting death threats and curses in his native tongue.

It was a look that suggested that Rain knew more than she was letting on. Like she was in on some joke they were all missing out.

"Well, you and the jerkass Kanda seem to have some sort of chemistry together." Rain smirked. "Is there any reason you two are always arguing?"

"BaKanda and I never got along." Allen huffed. "He's always insulting me and calling me names like 'moyashi' or 'baka!' His attitude is just terrible, and he never smiles, always having that stupid smirk or frown on his face!"

"And you're still friends." she said slowly, like she wasn't getting the point of this. "Any good points about him?"

"Like he has any!" Allen cried, before stopping to really think about it. "Well, he'll never say this, but I'm the only person that _really_ gets under his skin. He snaps at everyone, but I'm the one that doesn't have a one-sided argument with him, because I hate being insulted. But Kanda loves verbal arguments so-"

Allen trailed off unexpectedly, as his mouth opened and closed. What the hell was he saying? He quickly tried to reminded himself that Kanda was nothing but a jerk that liked to make fun of people! No, the frequent arguments between them meant nothing at all!

"BAKANDA IS A BAKA!" Allen thought rather loudly. Unfortunately his inner thoughts somehow became his outer voice.

Someone threw a pillow at him.

Allen was very surprised when he got hit in the head with the flying pillow.

"Shut the hell up moyashi!" growled an awaken Kanda. One hand reaching to grab Mugen. "Do you have to be so LOUD this early in the morning?"

"Why? Did I interrupted your beauty sleep?"

"Ohh. Burned." cried a just-awaken Lavi, watching the fight quite happily while he hung upside-down on his bed.

"You wanna fight, moyashi?"

"It's Allen!"

"Now, everyone let's calm down." Lavi tried to settle the fighting duo, "I'm sure we can handle this-"

Allen and Kanda simeantously turned to look at Lavi.

And _**glared**_.

_**"Shut it! Or I'll shave your whole body!"**_

So, Lavi shut up.

* * *

Sadly for Allen and Kanda, their epic fight never happened.

They were stopped when Rain, who was laughing too hard, accidentally choked on her own spit. After trying to hack up her lung for a couple of minutes, Lavi attempted to administer CPR on her. This had led to a rather nasty looking bruise on his right cheek, where she had slammed a fist into his face.

Yes, it just ended that un-epically.

All three boys were arguing over the order of using the bathroom/shower, with Rain watching them fight, apparently not really caring about her hygiene. And this had led to another mini-squabble between Lavi and Kanda, because Lavi had only packed his orange-scented shampoo. And Kanda -as quoted- 'did not want to smell like a fucking fruit.'

While Kanda went first, they discovered that since Allen and Rain were almost the small size, she fitted into his clothes perfectly. She was a bit curious at why Allen only possessed shirts that were long-sleeve and wore fingerless gloves too. But decided not to ask as it was none of her business.

Currently they were piled up in Eureka, driving through the streets of San Francisco's Chinatown.

"Seriously? Chinese take out in the morning?" Rain said.

"Lavi, it's nine already, why not just stop at a pancake house or somewhere that serves us breakfast?" asked Allen.

"'Cause Yuu-kun insisted that he has to have his precious soba." the driver said, glancing at the shops for a place to eat.

"And we're gonna listen to what _Kanda_ has to say?" Allen stated in disbelief.

"Well, Allen." Lavi began cheerfully, "If I were threatening you with a _very_ pointy, and a _very_ sharp katana, you would listen too!"

"Actually, I'll just be scare that you're gonna hurt yourself."

"Allen-kun!" Lavi cried in a fake hurt voice, "Don't you have any faith in my samurinja sword fighting skills?"

"...Remember the time when I first got Mugen and you attempted to show off your 'samurinja sword fighting skills?'"

"Yes, _but we don't talk about that._" whispered Lavi darkly.

"Hey! This place is open. We can eat here!" He pulled the van to a stop in front of some random Chinese restaurant. Allen's stomach growled very loudly in hunger. Kanda took one look outside his window, glanced at the place and instantly frowned.

"Baka, keep driving the van." Kanda ordered. Lavi tried to talk back, but was shot down by an evil glare.

"But I'm hungry!" whined Allen, unhappy at being denied food.

"Forget it moyashi. I'm not eating at a place that beings with 'Bangkok.'" Kanda stated firmly, making Rain erupt into another fit of laughter.

Lavi seem a bit deflated, before Kanda reached out to get Mugen, and instead he kept driving. They spent another ten minutes arguing about places to eat at. Eventually found another place five minutes later, just when Allen was starting to feel his stomach trying to eat itself.

Kanda was pleased to note that they served soba and tempura, and asked to get three orders of each. All for himself.

Allen was busy stuffing as much food as he can, there was something about Chinese cuisine that only encouraged his appetite. Lavi was making sure that Allen didn't choke on a grain of rice, and crying at the same time 'cause he was forced to pay for breakfast that morning.

They were surprised that Rain managed to eat almost half as much as Allen's pile. While not as impressive as the mass that the moyashi could put away, it was still considerably a lot for a girl her age and size, looking not much bigger than Allen himself.

"Where does it all go?" Lavi asked in amazement, watching endless amount of food disappear. Kanda tried not to stare, as it was starting to disturb him, but found that he couldn't look away. Were their stomach's black holes or something? Allen and Rain gave each other looks and shrugged.

"Fast metabolism."

"Same."

"And you're eating with chopsticks too." Lavi pointed out, he was the only one eating with a fork, seeing as he was incapable of handling the Asian eating utensil. "I have trouble enough with getting food to stay on my fork!"

"It doesn't matter what you can do with your fork. It all depends on your spooning ability." Rain pointed out, making everybody else choke on their rice.

Allen looked at the rather red and stuttering Lavi, and a widely grinning Kanda. "What does she mean by that?"

"Moyashi, you have no idea how much I love the fact that you're so naive about this kind of stuff." Lavi said, trying to figure out if he should be highly insulted or just keep on laughing. He settled for something that looked like a combination of amusement and outrage.

"Guys? I don't get what's going on." Allen tried to gain their attention again. Lavi leaned in close and whispered something, and he repeated it back in confusion. "So, it meant that Lavi's really good at hugging? HUH?"

"Moyashi, you epically FAIL, cause you don't know what it means." declared Rain.

Kanda decided to save them the effort and bluntly explained exactly what it meant in full details.

Allen blushed a deep red when he finally realized what Rain had been suggesting with her double entendre. Lavi cried out in horror-

"Yuu-chan's corrupting Moyashi's Innocence!"

"Shut up baka usagi!" Kanda sneered, noticing that Lavi's voice tends to carry when he was hyper. "You're causing a scene."

"The interesting thing is that this is just another completely normal morning for them." Allen noted sadly.

* * *

"Hey everybody," Lavi announced when they got back into the car, driving through the lower parts Chinatown. "I would like to thank everyone for their kind services and leaving me to pay _both_ the check and the tip!"

"You're welcome Lavi!" Allen piped up, glad for once that he wasn't left with the pick-up debt.

"With that being said," he looked back, grinning creepily at the backseat, and waving a long sheet of paper trailing to the floor around in his right hand. "I need you two to get everything on this shopping list!"

"WHAT?" was the outraged reply from Kanda, and Allen gave a weak "Huh?"

"Well, I didn't know we were picking someone up when we first started!" Rain waved her hand to signify herself. "Plus, have you seen how much she eats!?"

"But why do we have to do it?" asked Allen.

"'Cause, Kanda has the social charisma of a rock, and it's for smacking me before. And Allen has no direction skills whatsoever, but Kanda will make sure that you won't eat everything. " Lavi explained. He then stopped and parked the car in front of a rather ugly tree. "And now, I'm officially kicking you out!"

Allen opened his mouth as though to argue back, but Lavi pointed a threatening finger. "OUT!"

Giving a very loud huff of air, they both exit out of Eureka. Kanda yanked the shopping list out of Lavi's hand, glaring as he did. Allen slammed the door behind him, leading Lavi to yell that if the paint clips 'he's so putting that on his' debt'. Allen replied by sticking his fist up in the air and waving his middle finger.

"Geez that's nice." Lavi commented. And both him and Rain turned to look at each other for a moment. "I think we're the ones corrupting moyashi-kun."

They both shook their heads. "Nah, couldn't be."

The remaining occupants of the van stared at the retreating backs. They watched as Allen began chasing the other around trying to grab the list, and Kanda was playing keep-away-from-the-moyashi. Somehow, it was endearing to watch them fool around in the streets and seem like they had something going on under their so called 'friendship.' Even if the idiots couldn't see for themselves, their relationship ran a lot deeper than the facade they pretended was there.

"Either they hate each other's guts," Rain concluded, "-or they're in complete denial that their passionate burning love exist."

Lavi could do nothing but nod along in complete agreement. What was there to deny?

"You really think that sending them off together is such a good idea?" she asked, looking at the quarreling duo walk further away.

"It'll be fine!" Lavi said, waving his hands in a 'don't worry' manner. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"..." Rain decided wisely not to answer and looked at the violent couple. "I think Kanda's trying to dismember Allen with a pair of chopsticks on display."

"WHAT?" it was almost comical how wide Lavi's eye grew when he heard this. Peeking his head outside the window, he gave a quick 'eep!' before rushing outside to help the defenseless moyashi from the angry chopstick wielding samurai. "NO YUU! There wasn't any diced beansprouts on the shopping list!"

The girl remained in the van, looking interestedly at the strange trio locked in a deadly chopstick death match. That is, before she turned her attention to the dash board and slid noiselessly into the driver's seat. In his sudden haste, Lavi had forgotten to remove his keys from the gas ignition. If someone was just walking pass by, they could have just gotten in the seat and stolen the van. It was almost too easy how her plan had all fallen together so fast.

Rain smirked.

_Perfect._

And she didn't even have to use the sedative.

* * *

Lavi was familiar with Kanda's swordsman skills.

After being on the receiving end of the sharp blade of Mugen for years, he learned that Kanda was not a person you'll wanna mess around with. Although this fact never stopped him from teasing his friend for everything he was worth. After all, Kanda had yet to kill anyone, never moving pass 'dangerously maimed.'

Still that doesn't mean Kanda would restraint his murderous rage.

And when equipped with a pair of chopsticks instead of the usual katana, he was even more deadlier than usual. 'Cause you know that Kanda will have to come up with some _really_ creative ways to mutilate your body when he's only holding a pair of wooden utensils on display.

"-real nice, sticking the baka moyashi with me. I dunno what the fuck you were thinking-"

At least that's what Lavi was thinking when he stood between a scared moyashi and the pair wooden chopsticks.

"-this whole trip was the stupidest idea you've ever had-"

Although it was kinda hard to think when Kanda was ranting and shouting loud enough for the whole city to hear. Apparently, being stuck with his 'friends' for the last 48 hours had got him so worked up he was actually talking about his feelings! If you ignored the fact that he was emo-ing about everything that has happened to him. But, hey- it was an improvement from his silent, 'disturb-not' exterior.

"-seppuku would be less painful-"

Allen and Lavi watched in amazement as Kanda proceed to 'lose his cool.'

"Now, if you don't mind me, I'm going to head back and I'm locking myself inside the screaming-metal-death-cage you call a van, so I can go angst about my friends in my little corner of emo! Don't try to stop me, I've already made up my mind." Kanda said very loudly in a mocking tone as he walked backwards, not breaking his glare at Allen and Lavi. He turned around, expecting to see an eyesore of an inducing seizure.

And froze.

In the middle of traffic.

"Hey guys?" he called out in an increasingly horrified voice, **"Where the fuck is our effing van?"**

Allen and Lavi snapped their head so fast, they got whiplashed. They stared in shock at the empty space where Eureka was previously parked, but there was only the view of a very ugly tree. Even though their eyes were transmitting the image to their brain, it was obvious they could not believe what they were (not) seeing.

Lavi immediately dropped to knees, a look of frozen terror etched on his face. His body was in a state of hopelessness and absolute horror. His mouth open and closed, emitting a sound like a dying van engine.

"My precious Eureka!" he cried, grabbing weakly onto Allen's leg to support himself. "Where is she? My insurance doesn't cover stolen vans!"

"What do you mean it doesn't cover it?" Allen asked in disbelief, wondering how Lavi forget to include this important detail. "Didn't you look at the fine print?"

"Well, we're perfectly fine if Eureka crash, explodes and/or drowns." Lavi explained. "However, would anyone really consider stealing my rainbow-colored sunshine? I mean, it would make for the worst choice possible if you were going for a stealthy escape. Besides, I thought the seizure inducing paint job had a cool effect."

Lavi was momentarily surprised when Allen was hastily shoved away and Kanda roughly grabbed the collar of his shirt and forced them to look eyes to one eye. There was slightly look of terror and panic in his dark eyes, and the always present glare of instant death.

"Who cares about the stupid paint job?" he yelled. "Mugen was still in the back seat!"

"Our ride was stolen..." Allen said in disbelief, tuning out the fighting in the background, before noticing one missing person. "Where's Rain?"

The three stared in horror as the pieces of the puzzle came together.

"No way."

"It couldn't have-"

"For the record I blame both of you." Kanda stated. "This wouldn't have happened if you didn't pick up the stupid hitch hiker!"

"But, it couldn't have been her." Lavi insisted. "She looked so cute!"

"And her face hides a heart of pure darkness." was the reply. "She's a chibi-sized hell spawn of evil."

"We don't know that for sure!"

"How are we going to find Eureka?" asked Allen, still concerned over their current issue. "Follow the victims suffering from seizures?"

"...That seems like a plan." Lavi said right before Kanda tried to throttle him. "What the-? Ouch! Yuu, you didn't have to bite me!"

"As if I'll bite your! You'll taste digusting." Kanda said. Lavi then shook his left hand, discovering that Timcanpy was the thing that had just bitten him.

"Sorry Lavi! I didn't know he would do that!" apologized Allen before snatching the golden golem away. Timcanpy struggled in his tight grasp before freeing himself when he opened his mouth to show his sharp set of teeth. Allen released him immediately, not wanting to be bitten. He watched as Timcanpy flew in front of face and a screen appeared from Tim's mouth. It looked like some sort a map of the city, with three glowing blue dots clustered together and a glowing red dot not too far away.

"Hey! Timcanpy can locate the van!" the words were barely out of his mouth when Lavi suddenly attack-hugged Tim.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" he repeated the words like a mantra, squeezing Timcanpy very tightly. The golem darted out of the embrace and began flying in the direction of the located van. Lavi gave a yelped and pulled Kanda and Allen along, not wanting to lose sight of his savior.

"Quickly! We have to catch the Golden Snitch!"

They discovered the van about ten blocks later, doubled parked in front of some cafe. It looked very out of place indeed. Rain had seated herself at one of the outside plastic tables with the horrible green umbrellas, her bag in the next seat. Currently musing over a map, she frowned while chewing on the end of a red pen, and she seem to be tracing out some sort of road on the map.

The trio had hid themselves in the alley across the street, where her back was turned away from.

"Look at her sitting there." Lavi muttered darkly. "I hope the ink explodes on her face!"

Allen stared quietly. "This doesn't have to do with the kidnapped van would it?"

"This has everything to do with the kidnapped van!" he snapped back. "And her name is Eureka!"

"There wouldn't happen to be a plan now, is there?" Allen asked.

"We should just ditch her here, and just continue on our merry way." Kanda scoffed. Allen blinked, having never heard him use the word 'merry' before. "Let her sham some other group of idiots with a hippie van she can steal."

"But she stole Eureka! This calls for plotting! Revenge! Explanations! And I had a plan all figured out!" Lavi smiled and motioned them to move closer. Kanda made no effort to move.

"Deal with it yourself."

"What if you could use Mugen?"

And so Kanda listened.

* * *

"And so we meet again."

Rain had been so consumed with the map in front of her she completely failed to notice that someone was talking. About a minute later, she finally looked up to see that there was someone standing before her table. She was surprised to see the smiling face of one (not-so) innocent Allen Walker.

In the blink of an eye, she had grabbed the map and shot backwards, reeling from the shock. This was not something she had predicted.

"You!"

"Actually, that's _my_ name." smirked a voice. Rain suddenly found herself unable to move when the sharp edge of Mugen pressed against her neck. She had unknowingly backed up against to Kanda's chest, and Allen held her messenger bag in his hands. Where was Lavi?

"Thought you could get away, huh?" asked Kanda. Rain frowned before giving a wide smirk.

"Actually I kinda did." she confessed. Then she twisted Kanda's wrist, ducking underneath his arm and using the momentum to change their position, pressed Mugen to Kanda's neck instead. He appeared shocked, this had never happened before. "And look- I kinda am."

Rain's eyes widen when a flying golden sphere hit her from behind. She dropped her grip on Kanda's wrist, and Allen pulled her into a tight hug. "What the-?"

"Hurry Lavi!" Allen cried. The red haired boy appeared from out of Eureka and quickly tied her hands together with the stuff he had threw in the back previously. It had all happened so fast, she didn't have time to react. Although she tried to struggled, the tip of Mugen was once again pointed at her neck. Kanda quickly picked her up and threw her into the backseat of Eureka while everyone else climbed in.

"Drive, usagi!" Kanda barked, and Lavi gave a small salute before hitting the gas pedal so hard, it made skid marks on the pavement. Allen looked at the glaring, sullen girl seated between him and Kanda. One on either side in case she tried to make a run for it.

"Lavi, I think we should have a report for everyone you've kidnapped so far."

Lavi nodded and smiled widely. "Don't think I haven't started my own record file yet!"

"It'll be perfect for when you turned yourself in." commented Rain, she glared at the golden flying golem. "Timcanpy betrayed me!"

Kanda glared. "You're gonna start talking about everything, now."

"I don't have to say anything, I don't feel like saying." Rain gave him a dead stare. Even in captivity she still possessed her stubborn and snarky personality.

"Rain, why would you do such a thing?" asked Allen in a confused and hurt voice.

She looked a little guilty, but couldn't bring herself to look at him. Rain glanced warily at the surrounding people, and signed heavily, as though resigning to the situation. "Look, tell me what I did wrong and we'll start from there."

"You stole Eureka!" was the accusing cry from Lavi.

She gave a very sarcastic snort. "If you hadn't noticed- you're the ones kidnapping me! Beside I've never taken anyone hostage, yet."

Kanda rolled his eyes while Allen explained. "He means his van. The van is Eureka."

She blinked. "You named your van?"

"The term is actually- affectionately entitled." Lavi corrected.

"...Nice."

And because Lavi couldn't ignored the sound of approval from her voice, he nodded and smiled. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"Lavi!" Kanda barked. "What have I told you about conversing with the suspect?"

Lavi pouted and looked upset. Rain then saw this as a chance and used the moment to try and clarify things.

"Listen, it was not suppose to turn out this way."

"Right, I'm sure that you were just taking our ride to give it a car wash." Kanda said in a mocking tone. Rain frowned deeply.

"The voices in my head can hear the sarcasm in your voice BaKanda, and it's not helping. Do you mind?"

Allen gave a look when Kanda growled and turned back to look at Rain. He smiled sadly. "So, I'm guessing everything was a lie then?"

"Ehh." she shrugged disinterestedly. "Certain parts. It depends on how you look at it."

He nodded. "What's your name?"

"My name is Raine."

"No really, not falling for that." Kanda shot down in a 'do-you-think-we're-idiots?' tone. She looked hurt and embarrassed.

"It actually is- expect with an 'E' at the end."

And because Lavi couldn't help himself- "...Nice."

"I know." she nodded. "I can so totally get away with my name like that!"

"But apparently, you couldn't get away with stealing our van." Kanda shot back, after seeing Lavi glare he added- "Fine. Eureka, whatever!"

Allen looked at the girl, who apparently was named 'Raine' (_did it really make a difference?_ he wondered) and smiled kindly. She didn't look someone really guilty or violent. Her attitude was more like a little kid that was caught stealing from the cookie jar, but didn't even really cared that she got caught in the first place.

"How about you start at the beginning?" he asked. She remained silent while Lavi drove on to the next destination, moving out of the city and onto their next stop on the map. She looked out the window, her eyes dazed and wistful looking, before she started talking.

"My best friend moved away nine months ago-"

"Yes, and I'm pretty sure that has everything to do with attempted van-jacking. Sorry, but we're not really interested in your life story at the moment." said Kanda. Allen threw Timcanpy at his head. "The fuck-?"

"Shut up, it's story time."

"My best friend moved away nine months ago." Raine continued, "Jace was my only friend, actually. Has been for the last 13 years. There was no one else that even came close to forming the kind of bond that I had always shared with him. He was an orphan, and the people that adopted him never accepted him for who he really was, always trying to mold him to fit their image of the perfect ideal son."

"I learned last week, that he's getting into a forced marriage in two months. His parents- they're planning to seal the deal of a business offer by marrying him off to the other CEO head's daughter. I couldn't let them control him like that! Couldn't stand by and them condemn his life like that! 'Cause if I were him I would lived the way I wanted to. And it probably wasn't the smartest idea- stealing Eureka to rescue my friend."

It was all very quiet and still when Raine finished speaking. Eureka was filled with a silence that no one really knew how to break. Somehow their situations were very similar. The difference was the force behind the action, hers was fueled by determination and an iron-willed stubbornness that deprived her of common sense.

"Does this guy mean that much to you?"

"Listen, I've known him since we were still small enough to be chasing after ice cream trucks. We became best friends ever since I smashed his face into his applesauce during snack time." Raine stated.

The other members of Eureka didn't want to point out that the only thing that proved was that she was just a strange as a child as she was in the present. And that she probably had a very violent bond with that boy.

Although when you analyze the relationship shared between Kanda and Allen and Lavi, one could almost conclude that those random acts of violence could be labeled as 'terms of affection.' But Kanda would rather commit seppuku before ever admitting it.

"Besides, that punk's got a promise he still has to keep."

And even before it was spoken out loud, Kanda knew what was gonna happen. It might have been from the sad in Lavi's eye, the crying Timcanpy or the way Allen was sadly smiling at her.

Kanda groaned.

"Anyone up for a detour to Ohio?"

This had officially became the field trip to hell.

* * *

**Chibi Kanda-** She's still doing these mini-chibi omakes? Che. What a waste of my time.

**Chibi Allen- **Lavi couldn't make it because he fell asleep. _(looks around)_ Hey, where is everyone else?

**Tofu-** _(comes in with a giant cake)_ No need to worry your pretty little head off, moyashi-kun! Lavi and Raine are kinda busy right now. _(sees Allen eyeing the cake)_ Moyashi-kun stop raping the cake with your eyes! _(whacks Allen)_ No you can't eat the cake yet!

**Chibi Allen-** Why not? (_a dressed up Raine in a pink ballet suit pops out of the cake breathing heavily)_

**Chibi Raine-** It's so stuffy in that cake! I HATE dresses! _(grabs a piece of cake and eats)_ Nice, chocolate and frosting. So where's the birthday bunny boy?

**Tofu-** _(twitches)_ Lavi is still asleep.

**Chibi Raine-** Oh. Bad timing. _(stares at Tofu)_ You're gonna have to pay extra to get me back in this thing. This wasn't in my contract!

**Chibi Kanda-** The contract also never said anything about working overtime! _(leaves)_

**Chibi Allen-**_ (follows after him)_ BaKanda wait for me!

**Tofu-** Happy belated 8/10 birthday Lavi-kun!

**Chibi Lavi-** (_snores. rolls over in his sleep)_


	4. Oregon: The Horrors of McEarls

**Tofu-** _(face down in a pillow)_ Blah. So tired. Okay, first order of business. _(points to Raine)_ You're staying, contract included and all that jazz.

**Chibi Raine- **_(smirks) _Sweetness.

**Chibi Lavi-** _(glomps her)_ YAY!

**Chibi Allen-** That's awesome! _(points at Tofu)_ What's wrong with you?

**Tofu-** Well, since it was actually one of my friends that created Raine, she gets all the ownership claims on her OC. That's partly the reason she's staying. I was…convinced. _(shifty eyes)_ So technically, I own nothing in this fic!

**Chibi Kanda-** You can get the hippie van.

**Tofu-** (_looks up starry eyed. Lavi hisses and hugs Eureka's van keys)_ …Drat.

**Chibi Kanda- Disclaimer-** Tofu does not own anything in this fic, all OCs goes to her friend and all D.Gray man characters goes to Katsura Hoshino-sensei.

**Tofu-** And there's pictures proving she's a woman! HA! I was right! _(everyone stares. coughs slightly)_ Right, carry on.

* * *

**Day 4- Oregon: The Horrors of McEarls**

The old saying was true- you really do learn something new each day.

For example- Allen never knew that Lavi was capable of sleep-talking _and_ snoring at the same time.

And apparently he had very odd dreams every single night. Many of which included, but not limited to- invasions of 'evil-panda ninjas and 'giant hammers of doom'. Currently, Lavi was mumbling a lyrical poem declaring his eternal love for pancakes.

As amusing as it was watching Lavi describe a strange adventure of a group of exorcist hunting monsters called 'akumas' Allen found himself unable to get back to sleep after he woke up. He signed pitifully. Privacy was the price Allen paid when they decided not to stop for a hotel last night and bunked in the back of Eureka instead. He was glad that Lavi decided to bring a sleeping bag, pillows and lots of blankets.

Speaking of which, he turned to look at the corner furthest from the door, where Raine was ungracefully stuffed into the sleeping bag. She was awake, noticed he was staring at her and nodded in his direction, trying not to wake the sleeping Timcanpy on her head.

"How are you feeling?" Allen asked. She shrugged and gave a small sarcastic smile.

"Can't really complain." Raine replied, lifting up her tied up arms out from under her pillow. "Nothing much I can say when I'm tied up like this. So where are we heading today? Planning to find a ditch to leave my rotting corpse?"

"Actually, we were just planning to let Kanda hack at your body for the rest of the trip." he joked, watching how her eyes widen slightly.

"Seriously?"

"No." Allen said, she signed in relief before glaring at him and shook her head. Timcanpy abruptly awoke from her movements.

"Not funny, moyashi-kun." Raine scowled, but her eyes were smiling. Timcanpy began pulling and biting her hair. "Does he always do this?"

"Aww, he likes you." Allen teased, having more fun when he saw Tim use someone else as a chew toy for a change.

"Your friend, Jace." Allen started quietly. "He must be pretty special for you to get into all this trouble for one boy. I mean, most people wouldn't run away from home, steal a van hoping to drive all the way to Ohio to rescue their friend from a horrible future."

Raine snorted, ignored the tiny golem, and looked out the window, but not seeing anything. "Love has a fucking way of really screwing up your perception."

"You mean-" Allen looked surprised. "Did you ever-"

"Were we ever a couple? Nah." Raine smirked in that off-hand manner. "Everyone else thought we were though. We were always fighting though, teasing each other, and me kicking his ass every other week. I think the most we ever did was hug (glomps actually) and we kissed a couple of times. There was this chemistry though, couldn't deny it, there was always _something_ between us. But nothing was said about it, acknowledging our feelings would have changed everything."

"..." Allen tried to bury himself into his comfy cocoon of blankets. He tried not to think about all the parallels of the relationship between himself and a certain temperamental samurinja. Thinking about Kanda was quickly becoming a hazard to his health. If he blushed anymore he'll be hospitalized for multiple brain hemorrhage.

"Shouldn't they wake up now?" Raine asked jerking her head at the sleeping duo. Lavi had made himself comfortable in a little corner of the back, tangled in his pile of blankets again, and Kanda had somehow fallen asleep in a mediation position against the wall.

"Yeah, it's nearly nine so-" Allen made to get up, but the blankets he had used to keep himself warm last night were tangled in his haste to move. His legs were caught between the fabric, trapped awkwardly and he couldn't free himself. Allen tried to gain his balance, and Tim was pulling his back, but gravity always wins.

Letting a small scream, he began to pitch forward. Allen was on an non-reversible crash-course collision heading towards Kanda's direction.

"OOOFK!"

"That's gotta hurt."

"THE FUCK MOYASHI?"

"PANCAKES!"

Allen was aware that the left side of his face was hurting, he had landed right on Kanda's knee. Groaning he rolled over on his side, realized he was laid out on top of Kanda and rolled right onto the floor. His vision erupted in stars and prickles of color. Lavi had rushed forward and prop him upright against the wall.

"Pain. So much pain." he whined. "Everything's in pain."

Lavi, Kanda and Raine's face peered back in concern. Well, not Kanda's, who looked more pissed than anything. Timcanpy was flying frantic in the air in a circular pattern, creating a little halo effect above Kanda's head which made Allen laugh.

"Allen are you alright?" asked Lavi unwrapping the blanket that had entangled him.

"I'm in too much pain to even consider thinking a sarcastic comeback."

"Don't worry he's gonna be just fine." Lavi waved his hand in a 'everything's-fine' manner, and lifted the blanket away. Raine frowned and looked at his left eye.

"Looks like it's gonna bruise really bad." Allen gave a loud groan. "Don't worry, it'll heal quickly. Smear on lots of mascara and black eyeliner and pretend you're emo, anti-social, or something. This guy here has the whole attitude down." she jerked her head in Kanda's direction.

"Shut up. Chibi." he sneered.

Raine opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, blinking wildly, before realizing that Kanda had deemed her annoying enough to label her own nickname. In his own way, Kanda was accepting her into their strange group. She narrowed her eyes and shot back- "At least it's better than _BaKanda_!"

Lavi cooed with laughter and tackled hugged Raine. "I'm gonna call you Chibi-san!"

"Then you're officially dubbed 'baka usagi' forever." Raine turned back to look at Allen, and blinked. "What's with the star on your forehead? I couldn't see it before 'cause your bangs were in the way. Some sort of scar or something?"

Allen paled, and the rest of the room fell silent. The eerie kind that everyone felt awkward in. Fortunately, it was Lavi that came to his rescue.

"We don't talk about it."

"Fine, I don't mess around with shit that's not mine." Raine shrugged off-handishly and let the matter drop.

The room lapsed back into the eerie uncomfortable silence from before, one that no one knew how to break. Suddenly, everyone found the carpet every interesting. That's right, the entire interior of Eureka was completely covered in white carpets, every single _freaking_ inch. Although it was very comfy to sleep on, so no one dared to question Lavi's tastes in interior designs. After all, this was the same guy that got a driving license with no depth perception.

Kanda decided at this moment to start mocking Allen again.

"Moyashi, if you want to sleep with me so badly, there's lots of other ways you could get my attention. Besides kamikaze diving on top of me, of course."

Kanda smirked winningly, while the rest looked on in horror. Did Kanda just dished out a pick up line?

Allen turned a deep red, and stuttered in shock. Was Kanda coming on to him? No, the jerk was actually mocking him!

"I'll try and remember that, _Yuu-chan_." he smirked sexily, although it seem forced, "Perhaps next time you should just invite me to bed, to save all the trouble."

"If there is a next time, moyashi." Kanda smiled 'sweetly' back at him, "You certainly have a way of keeping things _interesting_ when the situations arises."

"It seems it only happens when I'm around you." Allen quickly switched tactics, "If I said I had a cut on my lip, would you kiss it to make me feel better?"

Kanda of course, was never one to back down from a challenge.

Even if it was a verbal battle of innuendoes and pick-up lines.

"They should arrest you for breaking and entering in my heart."

Allen got up and stood so close to Kanda, they could feel other's breath on their face. "Do you mind if I stare at Yuu up close instead of from across the room?"

"Smile for me moyashi. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips."

Lavi and Raine were sitting in the corner that the redhead had slept in last night, watching their friend's not-so-obvious 'flirting.' Lavi was busy jotting down on pieces of paper every single word they said, the pen a black blur with the speed he was writing. Raine was having a lot of fun observing them and smiling for all she was worth. Timcanpy rested happily in her hair. She glanced over to see what Lavi was writing, shaking her head.

"Don't use that one."

Lavi paused in his fast scribbling to stare at her. "Huh?"

She pointed. "You use those to pick up girls, you're gonna get smacked to next week and back."

Raine turned back to continue watching.

"You know, under all that heavy flirting and those innuendoes, they're really saying they hate each other."

Lavi lifted his head again. "Really? I was under the impression that they were madly in love with each other."

She shrugged. "Same difference."

He nodded in complete understanding. "Wanna hook them up?"

"Lavi, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful partnership." Raine said shaking hands, as best as she could while handcuffed, with a grinning Lavi.

"The shortest word for me is **I**, the sweetest word for me is **LOVE**, and the only word for me is **YUU**."

"And I think we just lost them."

* * *

Allen and Kanda's pick-up line battle royale challenge did not end with loud, lustful, make-up sex and the arguing couple professing their blatant declarations of love. (Although Lavi and Raine would rather document it otherwise) Instead, in the cramp space of the back Eureka, Kanda quickly discovered that it was very hard to actually use Mugen to mutilate the white-haired moyashi into a pin cushion for his katana.

Still, that never stopped him from trying.

The only problem was- when you're stuck in an enclosed space where you can't runaway, and there's an angry swordsman swinging his katana around, chances are- something is gonna be destroyed, _and_ people are gonna get hurt.

So when Kanda moved Mugen backwards in order to slash the moyashi into eight different pieces, it had the complete opposite effect. Lavi, who was positioned behind the fighting duo at the time, was suddenly well aware that something very sharp and extremely dangerous was heading straight for his face. And because Lavi prized his facial appearance more than anything else (how else does he have so many fangirls?), he screamed.

So, Lavi screamed at a level that registered far above the normal noise capacity a human could make and threw himself backwards until his back hit the dashboard. Unfortunately, this movement created something of a chain effect, in which things took a turn for the worse.

The keys in the ignition turned when Lavi's hands moved in a series of frantic gestures, trying to stop Mugen from scarring his beautiful face. His wildly waving arm hit the gear shift, and his elbow moved the gear shift from 'park' to 'drive.' Lavi's boot, which had been discarded last night when he slept, had somehow appeared out of nowhere, followed the rules of gravity and fallen directly on the gas pedal.

And in this series of movement (which can be described as nothing more than _miraculous_) Eureka started moving without anyone's notice.

Except Timcanpy, who was fluttering wildly in the air, trying in vain to get their attention.

"Baka usagi!" Kanda pointed Mugen at Lavi's throat, who immediately closed his mouth. "Be quiet! You're being too loud!"

"Now, now. There's no need to fight." Lavi gulped, eyeing the edge of the blade cautiously. "Can we all settle down? And perhaps move the very dangerous, and very sharp edge of the katana _away_ from my neck?"

"It's hard to stay quiet, when you're being threatened with the end of a sword." Allen pointed out, Kanda turned his attention to the moyashi.

"You wanna start a fight, moyashi?"

"It's Allen!" he cried, and they glared at each other, ready to start another fight in the back of Lavi's precious van. Luckily it was Raine who suddenly noticed that the changing scenery, the desperate Timcanpy, and that Eureka was inching forward.

"I think the van's moving."

No one spoke.

And then-

_**"Why is the van moving!?"**_ screamed Allen and Raine together in horror, and instantly hugged Timcanpy for support.

Kanda looked up at the ceiling, the _white-carpeted ceiling,_ and put on his 'why-does-shit-like-this-_always_-happen-to-me' face. As though the carpeted-ceiling-of-extreme-comfort was going to give him all the answers to the universe.

Lavi yelped and turned around in the driver's seat, only to see they were on top of a very tall hill.

He gulped.

And started screaming.

Until Raine decided to move up front and slam her foot quickly on the brakes. Eureka came to an immediate halt, launching everyone forward. And since none of them were wearing seatbelts, they landed very painfully, white carpeting or not.

"Riiight." Lavi laughed nervously. "That would have been the _smart_ thing to do."

"Lavi, there's a fine line between common sense and logic." Raine explained. "You lack both."

"Which category does 'natural stupidity' fall under?" Kanda asked from his disgraceful heap on the floor.

"That's actually a third option."

"It's one that also list 'diabolical plotting schemes.'" Allen said, winching as he got up. "Is this 'let's-all-hurt-Allen-Walker' day?"

"Something like that." Kanda said, and Allen rolled his eyes and gave a tiny sarcastic "Ha-ha."

"Well, since we're all up anyways," Lavi smiled so brightly, it should have been illegal to be that happy so early in the morning. "Let's see how fast we can get through the state Oregon in a day!"

"Hey," Raine started, holding her handcuffed arms up. "Any chance you can get these off now?"

"Nope. No can do chibi-san!" again with that blindingly bright smile!

"What if I say 'please?'" she asked.

"It's for our protection."

"Oh, yes." Kanda sneered at Lavi. "We're the ones needing protection from the punk's who's tied up in bondage. The only reason's she's still tied up is because she's still too sucipicous. I'm not buying her story one bit!"

"What if I decide to use BaKanda's Mugen to examine your insides?"

So, Lavi decided to untie/handcuff her.

* * *

"So guys," Lavi started. "I think it's time we stopped for lunch."

Kanda hit his head. These people were impossible!

"That's a brilliant effing idea, baka usagi! I wondered what was your first clue?" Kanda pointed. "Was it when moyashi and chibi both finished all the packaged food we had three hours ago? Was it when your stomach suddenly decided to start consuming itself because there was nothing edible left in the fucking van? Or was it when the fucking golem began feeding on our brains by eating our hair first?"

"If I didn't know any better I'll say Kanda was being sarcastic for once." said Raine.

"Shut it chibi." he sneered, and turned to Allen who had opened his mouth. "Don't you start, moyashi!"

"It's Allen!" he argued. "You know we have names too!"

"Are you certain they're not just pet names of affection?" Raine asked. Lavi nodded his head enthusiastically. "Yup! Yuu-chan loves us that way!"

"Usagi! Keep your eyes on the road!" he barked, and went back to sulking. It had been silently declared that the left backseat was Kanda's official corner of emo.

"Hey," Lavi cried out loud, steering towards an exit sign. "There's a pit stop up ahead! We can fill up for gas and grab a bite to eat."

Allen looked once.

And screamed.

"The fuck's wrong with you, moyashi?" Kanda asked, holding his ears in pain and trying the calm the frightened Allen and frantic Timcanpy.

"Keep driving! Just keep driving Lavi and don't stop!" he cried in terror, looking at Lavi in his panic state.

"What's wrong?" Raine asked, startled at the way he was acting.

Lavi waved his hand calmly. "Don't worry. This is normal behavior for Allen."

"...This...is normal?"

Lavi nodded. "Yup. Allen hates McEarls."

McEarls was the nation's largest fast food chain restaurant. It existed in every single state, and there must have been some sort of universal law that one McEarl must be within five miles of the same restaurant. Recently the fast food corporation had been showing interest in expanding the McEarl chain into global territory and international markets. Although there had been many issues raised on obesity from eating too many burgers, and violation of health regulations.

It's mascot was a large clownish figure called the Millennium Earl, and his pink colored umbrella with a pumpkin head, Lero.

"Define 'hate.'" Raine asked, looking at the scared Allen curled up in the fetal position rocking back and forth, as they pulled into the parking lot.

"As in- with a burning passion so hot it could melt Kanda's icy-cold heart." Lavi said. "And you'll still have enough heat to cook some spaghetti!"

"And we're going to anti-McEarl protester into the McEarl building?" Raine commented as all of them got out of Eureka. Well, Allen had to be kicked out of the van by Kanda, who the white-haired boy had quickly latched onto. "That's like forcing an atheist to attend daily mass at the Vatican."

"Well, it's not like I'm leaving him in Eureka!" Lavi cried in his 'well-duh' voice. "Not after last time!"

"Moyashi decided to steal the hippie van, and go 'suicide death mission' by running over a Millennium Earl mascot." Kanda explained, trying to pry himself out of a stubborn Allen's grip. "Let go of me, moyashi!"

"Yes, but we don't talk about it." Lavi said cheerfully as he opened the door.

"This place is like the ultimate _**SIN**_." Allen whispered horrified as they dragged him inside the cursed building.

"It's not so bad." Raine commented. "Tacky plastic chairs though."

_**"It's evil."**_ The white haired boy sneered, clinging onto Kanda like a life preserve. No one else wanted to be squeezed to an extra early grave by Allen's death grip. He eyed everything warily from the colorful plastic tiles to the ever present smile on the pictures of the Earl's face, and drew up even closer to the older boy as tightly as he can.

Kanda eyed the boy close to him. It was surprising that he let Allen hug him, considering how much of an anti-people-touching person he was. The hug wasn't really that uncomfortable, quite the opposite really. There was something about the moyashi pressed so close up against him that made his heartbeat faster and made his blood race faster than normal. It was startling and Kanda wondered if Allen could also hear his heartbeat through the clothes he wore.

"Oi, moyashi!" Kanda scowled. "If you hug any tighter, I'm gonna lose blood circulation."

"Could you?" Allen pleaded. "Even fainting a little is fine! Maybe we can sue the whole entire food chain! Bring this into a court case, then the news! Finally the public will know the horrors of corporate food chains and the stupid Millennium Earl!"

"Moyashi, don't make me smack you upside the head with Mugen."

Allen frowned at Kanda's threat and hugged him even tighter. "You keep on saying these thing, but how about you actually do something about it?"

"I promise I'll teach you a lesson for two when we get back in the van."

Of course, if one were to consider the fact that Allen was practically fused to Kanda's side, and they were seen in public so close like this. They would have to re-think on the last sentence. Not to mention that Kanda had said everything in a deep low voice as not to attract attention, which some could have mistaken as his 'bedroom voice.'

If they were anymore oblivious to their relationship, Lavi suspected that he'll have to smack the yaoi into them with a giant hammer.

Their argument was cut short when Raine turned around and asked- "Are you guys getting anything?"

"Not hungry." was their reply. Raine's eyes widen to huge proportion.

"Seriously?"

"I refuse to eat anything here." Allem shuddered, he would rather starve to death than ever touch anything from McEarls!

"Maybe I should get a McHungry Deluxe or maybe a McEarl with extra cheese." Lavi wondered out loud, frowning at the menu choices and contemplating his cheese future. "Oh look! They have a 'Cheer-me-up' meal!"

Raine waved ten dollars in front of his face. "I'll pay you if you order it, finish it, and then go up and demand a refund 'cause it didn't cheer you up."

"Of course you're not gonna be happy!" Allen cried out. "They make everything you eat outta corruption and the fabrication of deception!"

"Moyashi," Kanda twitched. "What did we say about being seen but not heard?"

Lavi began listing off a list of food he wanted to order. The person at the cashier was an employee that had worked here for a long time, with a name tag that said- 'Cell Roron.' He looked like the kind of person who was 30 and still lived in his mother's basement.

"Your total comes out to-"

"Aren't you gonna ask us if we want _**LIES**_ with that?" Allen mocked, cutting into the conversation. Raine quickly whipped behind her and hit him on the head, then she turned around and smiled brightly, as though nothing had happened.

"Sorry, he forgot to take his medication."

The cashier shifted his eyes around, and leaned in close, like he was sharing a very important secret.

"Don't tell my boss this- I forgot too."

They blinked.

Raine nodded awkwardly and grabbed their food. "Riiight. We'll be going now."

Lavi quickly steered everyone out the restaurant, and they took off running towards the van right after the step outside. Allen immediately threw himself into Eureka's backseat and grabbed onto Timcanpy, hugging him in his death grip hug. "Drive Lavi! And step on it!"

"Aww, we forgot the condiments." Raine said sadly, looking into the bag. Allen turned his eyes on her.

"Does it really matter!?"

"Well, ketchup makes everything taste better." Lavi said, starting up Eureka and biting into one of the burgers, Allen's eyes widen in shock.

"Lavi, spit it out right now!" he yelled. "You're eating corruption and lies!"

"Really?" Lavi lifted an eyebrow. "Tastes like chicken and beef."

"Moyashi, just be quiet." Kanda whispered in pain, trying to ignore the huge headache that coming. Allen was happy to note that he wasn't eating anything from McEarls. Of course, the samurinja never ate anything unless it was his precious soba or tempura.

"This thing is like death on a stick." Raine whispered horrified, watching the greasy oil drip off the limp fry. "I think I just lost the will to eat."

"Only it'll kill you much faster!" Lavi happily agreed, munching on his burger. Kanda tried not to shudder in disgust at what he was eating.

"It's your sins you're consuming!" Allen whispered terrifyingly. Kanda resisted the urge to hit Allen again.

"Then it's sin-fully delicious!" Lavi said.

"That makes me feel much better." Raine sarcastically answered back, she was shocked to see her meal suddenly disappear from her hands. Allen had dove himself from the back seat, snatched the burger and quickly rolled down his window.

He threw the piece of garbage out as far as he could, crying- _**"Repent! Repent for your sins!"**_

Kanda smacked him upside the head. "Baka moyashi! You're annoying me."

"...I was eating that." Raine said mournfully.

"Don't worry!" Allen cried happily. "You can always beg for forgiveness and atone for the sins you've committed!"

"...Kanda smack him again, I'm too far away."

Kanda gladly obliged.

* * *

Things returned to normal... for about a hour or so. Lavi was so focused getting through the state of Oregon in a day, that when he reached for his sixth burger-

Allen decided that it would be the perfect moment to dive up front and steal the burger made of sin and evil.

And of course, Kanda was pissed off.

No wait, that's actually normal.

"If you even think about stealing the burger," Kanda threatened. "And you make this van move, and we crash into a cactus outside, then we will all die. I will find some way to haunt your soul and make you suffer for the rest of your pitiful existence. ANd I'll give you another black eye so we'll have to call you panda."

"Yup," Raine commented, nodding her head. "Definitely pet names."

"I've faced debts that are scarier than your threats." Allen said to Kanda's face, before turning to ask Lavi- "Speaking of which, Cross' probably not too happy I decided to ditch the debt collectors. Our guardians know where we are...right?"

"..." Lavi's eye widen, and he looked shocked. "Uh-oh."

"Lavi, do not use that voice with me." Allen said in frightening horror. "You did remember to tell them. Lavi?"

"Baka usagi!" Kanda smacked Lavi's head with Mugen. "Don't you ever think things through?"

"Looks like you're all in trouble." Raine smirked. Lavi rubbed his sore head and turned to look at her.

"Does your parents know where you are?"

Raine had the decently to blush and whisper. "Not exactly..."

"We better call them." Allen said, and Timcanpy opened his mouth, displaying a phone number. "Of course, it's not like Cross is ever home."

"Timcanpy's a cell phone? Awesome." Raine said looking in awe. "Hey, put it on loudspeakers!"

A loud dial tone echoed through Eureka, the sound repeated for a couple of seconds before Allen was transferred over to Cross' voicemail.

_**"This is Cross. If you're a debt collector, all your concerns goes to my idiotic adopted son. Feel free to shake the money out of him if you choose. Leave me a sexy message and I'll get back to you lovely ladies sooner! Beep."**_

"Hey Cross." Allen spoke, trying not to meet anyone's stare. "Listen, my friends and I decided to take a little cross-country road trip for the month. So I'm not going to be home for awhile. I swear, I'm not running away, and it's not like you're gonna pay any ransom anyways. Timcanpy came along with me, so bother looking for him. Also, the debts can wait a little bit longer, and it's your problem in the first place so stop trying to pass it on to me!"

Raine stared at him. "Your dad makes you pay the debts?"

"Adopted." Allen said, as though it explained everything. "The thing about Cross is- He'll make you pay for your own ransom money if you're kidnapped."

"Well, it's your own fault for getting kidnapped in the first place." Kanda whispered. "Where's my cell phone?"

"Here!" Lavi tossed something black and shiny to the backseat. Kanda caught it but didn't move to call anyone. "Aren't you going to call Tiedoll?"

"The idiot's probably angsting over his bad parenting skills or something." he answered. "Best to let him weep it out. I'll call him when we get back in a month."

"Ah! But remember the last time you forgot to call Tiedoll?" Allen pointed out.

"Moyashi," Kanda growled out. "I do _not_ need a repeat of the **'buddy system.'**"

No one dare laugh as Kanda angrily dial his parent's number. Still, that didn't stop the wide the grin that broke out on everyone's face when they turned away from Kanda. And the angry Japanese began whispering furiously under his breath a curse that they'll all choke on their laughter and die.

Allen saw his chance, and grabbed the cell phone from Kanda's grip. He quickly put it on loud speakers as soon as the call picked up.

**"YUU-KUN!!"**

Kanda's left eye twitched. "The fucking bastard has caller ID."

**"Oh, my darling son has finally decided to call home!"** wept the voice form the other line. **"These last couple of days have been so quiet and empty! How could you leave me all alone, by myself when you suddenly disappeared and ran away from home! What did I do wrong? Was I a bad parent? Not a call, not one single call! Do you know how worried I was? You made your father very sad, Yuu-kun!"**

"I'm not you son." Kanda growled. "Please, don't ever call me Yuu-kun again."

**"But I adopted you when you were just a little baby! When you were young enough to wave your little katana in the air! And I'm the only father you have!"** Tiedoll was actually crying when he said this.

"Don't you have a sense of dignity?" Kanda asked.

"Just give up. You know Tiedoll always gets like this around you." Allen whispered.

**"Oh? Do I hear dear Allen's voice?"** Tiedoll immediately sobered up and sounded serious. **"Dragging little innocent boys into your affairs of tangled lies! Yuu-kun, just what kind of trouble did you land into?"**

"I'm not in trouble." Kanda said. "I was just kidnapped."

This was apparently the wrong thing to say, as Tiedoll launched into a full speech filled with threats and more cries of 'Yuu-kun!' The current 'Yuu-kun' was sitting in his little corner trying to blend into the white carpeting of the van, there was this little cloud of doom hanging around him.

Lavi and Allen quickly explained what had happened during their little kidnapping. Tiedoll stopped his crying and gave a joyous laugh instead.

**"I see now, so this is a little field to strengthen the bonds of friendship and the wonders of the coming of age! Well, I hope you learn something from this experience, Yuu-kun- the importance of your fellow comrades and the springtime of youthfulness!"**

"It's summer vacation." Kanda pointed out. "And please, don't say it like that."

**"I'll see you in a month's time!"**

"That's too soon." Kanda said as he hung up.

"So I guess Lavi's next." Allen looked at the driver. "Although I'm not too sure you should be driving and talking at the same time."

"Allen, I'm going to pretend I had no idea what you just said." Lavi said, before eyeing his phone nervously.

"...You forgot to tell him didn't you?" Raine stated. Lavi gave nervous laugh before picking it up.

"That's such a harsh judge of character." he said, punching in a number. "I prefer to use the term 'simply slipped my mind.'"

The phone rang ominously in Eureka and Lavi half looked like he wanted nothing more than for the phone to explode. Sadly, his wish was not granted, and a gruff, old voice came from the phone.

**"Hello?"**

"Hey, Gramps!" Lavi said in an overly cheerful voice. "How's it's going?"

**"Lavi! You no good grandson apprentice of mine!"** the voice continued to yell in many different dialects and languages, none of which any other members in the van was able to recognize. **"-Your actions has brought disgrace to the Bookman's clan!"**

"Really?" Lavi raised his eyebrow. "'Cause last week you were saying I was bringing dishonor. So, it's disgrace now? That's a step up the ladder in my book."

**"Lavi, I demand to know what made you decide to suddenly leave your Bookman duties for the summer!"**

Lavi smacked his forehead with his palm. "So that's what I forgot to do! Sorry, Gramps. There was an unscheduled vacation that suddenly appeared in my planner. I'm on a cross-country road trip right now, so I'm gonna be gone for the month."

**"And I ask you this- what purpose does your road trip serve?"**

"It's for educational purposes, of course!" Lavi fibbed. "See, I was kinda hoping to work on a documentary series that features various sites and landmarks famous throughout the states. And along with my trusty crew we'll attack the urban legends surrounding those places!"

**"..."** there was no answer. **"So, you decided to ditch you Bookman duties to go on a field trip."**

"Hey! That's not- Well, yeah." Lavi nodded. "That's basically it."

**"When you get back you're not leaving the library until you have completed reading every single book that's in here."** And the Bookman hung up.

Lavi gave a giant sigh of relief. "Well, that worked out better than I had expected."

No one bother to comment that Lavi's idea of 'normal' usually bordered-lined on bizarre/strange.

Everyone looked at Raine, the only person in Eureka that still have yet to make a phone call. With a sigh, she quickly dialed a number on her cell phone and put the call on loudspeaker like everyone else had. She looked a little bit nervous as the seconds pass. There was a short wait before someone picked up on the other line.

**"Whatever you need to say- state your business in less than a minute. Everything you say- can and will be used in court if I consider you a threat."**

Everyone in Eureka sweat dropped, the female's voice had sounded very angry and threatening. No wonder Raine had such a strange, and slightly violent attitude. Raine had the dignity to look very embarrassed and her face turned hot pink.

"Hey mom."

**"Squirt!"** Raine violently twitched at the nickname. **"Where have you been? Running from home for three days? You know how scared we were?"**

Raine blinked. "You were worried?"

**"Of course, I was worried! My hell spawn is running around free in public corrupting innocence, creating chaos-"** the female voice continued to list off crimes that her daughter probably had already committed. **"-I'm surprised Interpol hadn't located you yet!"**

"Mom!" Raine jerked upright in shock. "Please, tell me you haven't been going through my stash of anime/manga again!"

**"I would...but then that would be a giant lie. It's good stuff...although the dubbed voices nearly killed the cat with its high pitch-ness."**

"At least you didn't sell the stash on eBay this time." Raine muttered to herself. "Where's Dad?"

**"Daddy had a frantic attack when he found out you were missing."** said the female voice. **"He's fine now. Though he's been screening every single call that comes through. You better count your lucky stars that he's at work now. Mommy's not covering the next time you decide to run away to elope with Jace."**

"Mom, it's wrong when you start talking about yourself in the third person." Raine sighed. "And I did not run away to elope with him."

**"Oh. Well... I suppose I'll have to explain to Daddy that our daughter ran off to elope with her **_**other**_** best boy friend."** was the reply. **"Listen, whatever you have to do to fix your little relationship, do it and come back home as quickly as you can. When are you coming back?"**

"I'll be back home in a month."

**"What the hell are you taking your time for? An extra honeymoon?"** there was a loud huff of air. **"Fine, I'm sure I can keep your Daddy occupied... I've been meaning to find a use for those sleeping pills anyway. Love you squirt!"**

"If I come to a house decked out in yellow police tape, I'm _so_ not posting your bail money." Raine stated, only to hear her mother blow a loud wet raspberry and promptly hung up on her.

Raine turned around.

"I swear- I'm not related to her by choice."

* * *

**Tofu-** I noticed that the chapters are getting longer. Hope no one is complaining- lots of stuff can happen in a day. And when you're on the road trip to hell, things get screwed over, _repeatedly_.

**Chibi Lavi-** So, Tofu-sama got a little challenge- try and include all the characters of D.Gray man into her fic! Even mentioned as cameos in her story still counts!

**Chibi Kanda-** _(drags in Allen. panting. pushes Allen into Tofu's hands)_ Take him! He needs a complete personality change!

**Chibi Raine-** _(stares)_ What happened to you?

**Chibi Kanda-** Moyashi here tried to run over the fat-ass Earl with Eureka.

**Chibi Allen-** I got his hat too! _(holds up top hat)_

**Chibi Lavi-** What? _(runs outside to check on his precious Eureka)_

**Chibi Raine-** Hey! _(changes channel)_ Asstart and shorty are on the 6 o'clock car chase!

**Tofu-** Writing the chibi omakes are always the best part of each chapter!


	5. Washington: The Potential Stalker

**Chibi Kanda-** _(grabs his new Mugen)_ Where the fuck is that worthless excuse of an author! I swear- I'm gonna cut her up into tiny slices to make sushi!

**Chibi Raine-** Eh? Hey, I'll bring some wasabi!

**Tofu-** _(kicks down the door)_ Hello, my lovelies! _(hair gets cut by Mugen)_ The fuck-?

**Chibi Kanda-** _(threatening)_ Where the hell have you been?

**Tofu-** Well, I got writer's block so I decided to take a short break until I got some more ideas-

**Chibi Lavi-** _(glomps everyone, expect Kanda)_ Hey Allen/Raine! You'll never guess what I have just done! Tofu-chan decided to take me along for her month-long vacation! It was so much fun and relaxing -oh! And they had this all you can eat buffet opened 24/7!

**Tofu- **-which kinda turned into an extended vacation.

**Chibi Kanda- DIE!** _(chases after her)_

**Chibi Allen-**_ (blinks)_ I kinda missed this. _(looks at each other)_ Why weren't we invited?

**Chibi Raine: Disclaimer-** Tofu does not own anything in this fic, not even the (not so) discreet references she throws in this fic. D.Gray man is still the property of Katsura Hoshino, TV Tokyo, and Funimation is dubbing the anime series starting in 2009.

**Tofu-** If they give Allen a British accent in the dubs, I will die laughing.

**Chibi Kanda-** Or you could just die.

**

* * *

**

**Day 5- Washington: The Potential Stalker**

Kanda discovered on the fifth morning that life has a funny way of screwing you over.

Thanks to this little field trip, the samurinja's morning ritual was ruined. Kanda used to follow a specific schedule starting from the moment that he woke up. Life was not something to be wasted upon so pointlessly by spending your time on trivial events. To survive in life, one had to practice exerting discipline and control. This was something that he had followed every single day, from his katana training to living life out in its ordinary mundane way.

Unfortunately, Kanda was now accustomed to waking up to the sight of the carpeted ceiling of Eureka or the flaky paint crumbling from cheap hotel rooms.

This morning was a different matter-

-the room was entirely covered in green wallpaper.

Bright **neon** green wallpaper.

The kind that was able to burn your retina out if you stared too long. And possibly kill a couple of thousands of brain cells while it's doing its work.

Kanda knew better than to keep staring at the glow-in-the-dark colored walls. However, it seems like nothing he did could get him to fall back into sleep in this unusual restless state of mind. And instead, he was stuck either looking at the horribly colored walls or look at the other sleeping inhabitants in the room.

Granted, the hotel room wasn't that bad. It was certainly larger than the other places they had stayed in, and was equipped with a full bathroom and a mini fridge (which the moyashi and chibi quickly took advantage of). Even in the bleak sunlight, large gray clouds hung outside the window, promising a rainfall later that day.

It was still morning and Kanda decided to get an early start for once, before the rest of his 'friends' woke up. He forced himself out of bed and grudgingly headed towards the bathroom; walking pass Raine who was sleeping upside down on the armchair, and making a point to kick the sleeping Lavi onto the floor. The redhead snored, pulled his discarded blanket to his neck and rolled over in his sleep.

Kanda had just finished with his shower, dressed quickly and was trying to dry his hair with a towel. No matter what Lavi said- it was not long/girly-long and he was not going to cut it. That's when the doorknob unexpectedly turned and a very sleepy Allen and Timcanpy stumbled into the bathroom.

Allen blinked once.

And then he just continued to stare at Kanda, making no point in hiding the fact that he was _obsessively_ staring. Kanda was just standing there in shock, although he was relieved that both of them were fully dressed. Even if Allen's t-shirt was starting to slip off his right shoulder, showing a very fine amount of pale skin. And nevermind the fact that he was starting to get some very suggestive ideas from the way Allen looked so tempting right now. The 'I-just-got-out-of-bed-and-looking-very-molestable' was having hazardous effects on Kanda's health.

Before the samurinja could say anything, one word slipped pass Allen's mouth-

"Oops."

If Kanda was any other person, he would have face faulted. "Stupid idiot. Is that all you can say?"

"Umm...would 'I'm sorry' work?" Allen asked, running his hand through his hair in embarrassment.

"Didn't you think to knock first?" he sneered. "Or did you really want to see me naked that badly?"

"As if!" Allen cried, his face rapidly turning red. Kanda was briefly amused that he was getting so embarrassed about the situation.

"Really? Because I was under the impression that this entire trip was just your way of telling me how badly you wanted me." Kanda smirked sarcastically. "You'll be surprised how far a little subtext would go, moyashi."

"Now you're just making fun of me again."

"That wouldn't happen if you didn't keep fucking pissing me off." he said, watching Allen frown deeply. "Next time pay attention."

"I wanted to use the bathroom and I didn't notice the light. Besides, no one else but me ever gets up this early."

"That doesn't excuse you from your lack of manners, moyashi." he commented. Allen gave a loud huff of frustration and his eyes looked at everything else within the inside of the bathroom that wasn't Kanda. It came to Kanda's immediate surprise when he finally noticed that the area around Allen's left eye had rapidly turned into a giant blackening bruise. He had forgotten that the stupid moyashi had gotten hurt yesterday when he had fallen on his knee.

"Your eye, does it hurt?"

"It's just a little bit sore." Allen looked startled at the sudden statement, as he gingerly touched the left side of his face. The area around his eye was darkening into a nasty, sickly purple/black color, but it looked like he had no problem with his sight. "Be careful now, otherwise I might start to think you actually care."

"Che. Don't make me laugh."

"That'll be the day."

Kanda's face turned into a deep frown, before stepping forwards. Allen quickly moved to the side to allow him to pass through the doorway, but was shocked when Kanda closed the door behind him instead. He looked at the taller boy for a moment, then Kanda roughly grabbed Allen's shoulders and forced him to sit at the very edge of the bathtub. Allen blinked in confusion as Kanda towered above him.

"Sit down." Kanda commanded in a voice that left no room for arguments. "I'm gonna fix that eye."

"Ahh? No really, you don't have to!" Allen cried in terror, suddenly very fearful of leaving his current state of health in the hands of this very temperamental samurinja. "I'm fine! It's probably gonna heal within a week anyways!"

"Shut up, moyashi." he spoke in a harsh tone. "It's better than having you walk around looking like some sort of albino panda freak."

"It's Allen." he said softy, but made no other protest as he allowed Kanda treat his eye anyways.

There was something very strange about the situation they were in. Kanda used a cold towel to gently wipe around the area of the blacken bruise. He was acting unusually kind for once, as he cupped Allen's cheek in his hand, angling it to get a better view. He frowned as he worked, taking in the damage of the injury. His eyes took in the sight of the red pentacle on Allen's head. The scar that he was always so hesitant to speak about, it was the one thing that Allen never discussed.

Allen was aware of the coldness of the tiled floor and the bathtub pressing against his body. There was a certain contrast to the warmth he felt whenever Kanda's skin would accidentally brush against his own. He didn't know what to do, expect listen to his ragged breathing and enjoy the faint sensations that were twisting in his stomach like a flurry of butterflies. There was a certain suffocating tension that filled the space between them.

Neither of them noticed that the currently forgotten Timcanpy had been recording everything from the start.

The movement stopped, and the towel crumpled on the floor, forgotten. Both looked at each other.

They realized that only one of them had to lean forward and then their lips would meet.

BAM!

Instantly both of them sprang apart from each other as though they were hurt by a spark of electricity. They were startled by the sudden interruption of the sound of the bathroom door bouncing off the opposite wall. Kanda glared evilly at figure standing awkwardly at the doorway.

"Oops! Sorry about that!" Lavi laughed aloud, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment, but his sincere apologetic face only angered the interrupted couple. "I accidentally tripped over the blanket when I was heading towards the bathroom."

Only when Lavi opened his eyes did he realize the importance of the moment he had ruined.

His only eye widen to almost comical proportions and quickly darted back and forth between the occupants of the room; he didn't even noticed when his mouth decided to unhinged itself from his jaw. Lavi could stand there in the very tense silence as his brain failed repeatedly to process the image that he was seeing. He could only act there, pretending to pull of his finest performance as a living statue and open and close him mouth in speechlessness.

He didn't even flinch when Timcanpy began gnawing on his ear.

_Kanda was alone with Allen._

_Kanda was **alone** with Allen._

**_Kanda_**_ was alone with **Allen**._

"I think I'll shut the door now."

The door closed quietly behind him, and Kanda and Allen were drowned in the deadly silence that engulfed the room.

Outside, the little bunny was not faring so well. Lavi was silently hyperventilating in the not-so-high-tech-secrecy of the neon-brightly-wallpapered hotel room. With only a flying golden golem and a sleeping hitch hiker acting as an audience to listen to his internal cries of epic failure.

_I can't believe I just ruined a moment like that! Ugh, I have the worst timing ever!_

A sudden chill ran down his back.

Lavi felt the sweat trickle down his back. And as he turned around, he was immediately suffocated by the evil aura radiating from a twin pair of identical glares.

"Yuu-chan? Moyashi?"

Allen and Kanda smirked.

There shall be hell to be paid.

* * *

"Your face is pissing me off." Raine stated, as they walked down the street.

"What? This one?" Lavi asked confused, pointing a finger at his face and smiled widely. That grin did nothing to distract from the fact that his face was almost completely covered in bandages and injuries from the pain Allen and Kanda had inflicted upon him earlier that morning.

"Yes, so I demand that you change it right now."

"Well, what's wrong with this face?"

"It's illegal to be this cheerful so early in the morning." Raine said, looking tried and very sleepily and constantly rubbing at the black circles under her eyes.

"It's one in the afternoon." Allen pointed out.

"Moyashi, I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear you." she ignored him, and turned around to look at Lavi. "Anyways, what do you have to be so happy about?"

"Well-" Lavi stopped as the familiar sensation of several death glares shivered down his spine. He quickly turned around to see Kanda mimicking him cutting off his head and Allen smiling wickedly. Raine was the only one in the group that had no idea what had occurred in the bathroom this morning. "That's a secret."

"And you're not gonna tell me?"

"If I tell you, then it's not a secret anymore!" Lavi laughed nervously, trying to shake of the feeling of unease and fidgety-ness he was suffering from. "We'll just forget about that for the moment. So, onwards to breakfast we shall go!"

"That would be lunch you're talking about." Kanda grumbled.

"Why didn't we just take the van?" Allen questioned. He was speaking the truth, for the rainbow-colored-seizure-inducing-piece-of-metal was nowhere in sight on this cloudy, dreary day. They had been walking around town looking for any place to eat, with no such luck during the last hour. Allen and Kanda refused to meet each other eyes and was walking as far away from each other as possible without making it obvious that they were trying to avoid the other person.

They weren't fooling anyone.

"Eureka has a name!"

"So does the disorder you're suffering from." Kanda said. His bad mood was evident from the fact that he was acting even more cold and harsh than his usual snarky, anti-social-but-not-completely-emo-because-I-don't-cut-myself-but-I-cut-other-people behavior.

"Well, who wouldn't mind an early morning walk with your friends in this clear summer's day and looking at the couples walking down the street?"

"Expect it's two in the afternoon, I hate everyone within this group, the sky's gonna start raining in the next three seconds, and I'm pretty sure that those people are getting mugged in the alleys." he growled.

"Now you're just acting pessimistic."

"No. I think that's just Kanda's standard default attitude." Raine corrected Lavi. "And you forgot to mention the homeless hobos sleeping in the gutters."

"All of this is just a fucking waste of my time!" barked Kanda, glaring at everyone and everything in the vicinity. Timcanpy had buried himself in Allen's head of hair.

"BaKanda, don't bring everyone else down just because you're having another one of your episodes."

"I'm leaving, and no one will fucking stop me this time!" The fact that Allen had spoke to him seem to piss Kanda off even more. He began to quickly walk away to separate from his group of 'friends'. There was no doubt in their mind that this time he was completely serious.

"Wait! Yuu-chan you can't just ditch us!"

"BaKanda, stop being an idiot!"

"Asstart, get your fucking, girly ass back here!" Raine yelled. Kanda immediately stopped short and spun around to glare at the shorter Asian girl.

"What did you just fucking call me**!?"**

"You heard me."

"And this is coming from a microscopic shrimp like yourself?"

"For the last time- I AM NOT **THAT** SHORT!" she yelled in a spastic fit of anger. "All of you are just freakishly tall!"

"Like moyashi over there?" Kanda sneered, finally acknowledging Allen for the first time since the morning accident.

"I'm almost as tall as you!" Allen cried out. "Can't you stop being a jerk for one minute? You're always trying to cause some sort of argument, and it's always only you that ruins everything for the rest of us!"

"Che. Whatever." He ignored their cries of protest and pleads of 'Yuu-kun' as he stalked off down the street. Unfortunately, Kanda didn't notice where he was heading and he came to a sudden halt when he accidentally collided with two other boys. They fell down into a tangled mess in the middle of the street. Lavi and the rest blinked in surprise for a moment before running over to the dazed Kanda, and the two little children he had ran over.

"Are you okay?" Lavi asked worriedly.

"What the fuck does it looks like?" snapped the angry Kanda as he glared angrily at the two boys that had hit him, completely disregarding the fact that it was him who had crashed into them in the first place.

"I don't think he was talking to you." Allen said while reaching out to grab Kanda's arm to help him stand up. Kanda growled and yanked his arm out of Allen's grasp and forced himself onto his feet instead. The white haired boy frowned deeply, and turned away, trying to act like he never offered his help in the first place.

"Leo! Hey are you alright?" One of the boys began shaking the shoulders of his fallen friend. "Hey, say something!"

"I think I'm fine, John." Leo mumbled, holding his head in his hands. "Ouch! That really hurt though."

"Well, next time don't go crashing into people!" Kanda snapped as he towered over them.

"You're the one that crashed into us in the first place!" John cried, pointing an accusing finger at the disinterested samurinja. "What? Are you some sort of tourist or something? 'Cause there's no way someone could be so stupid to walk backwards in the streets!"

"You want to say that again brat?"

"Now, now." Lavi laughed as he helped Leo up on his feet. "There's no need to get so hostile Yuu-chan."

"I think you owe them an apology," whispered Allen. "Right, Kanda-kun?"

"Like hell I'm gonna-"

**"Apologize."** Raine demanded threateningly with an air of doom and destruction around her. Kanda wasn't even fazed by the change of doom in her personality, but turned to look at the brats anyways.

"Che." Kanda glared at the little brats. "Watch where you're going."

"I couldn't tell." Lavi whispered to Allen in the background. "Was that an apology?"

"It's the best we can get from BaKanda." He said, shrugging his shoulders.

"I think he's saying 'Be careful.'" Lavi explained to Leo and John. "Well, you better run off now."

To their surprise, Leo and John insisted on giving each one of them a hug before leaving. Raine stared awkwardly but allowed them to cling onto her legs anyways, while Allen apologized for his friend's behavior and Lavi tried to explain that it was how Kanda always act. Kanda glared venomously at them and only gave them both a scalding look before walking away.

"Thanks anyways!" they cried as they ran down the street in the opposite direction.

"That's an odd thing to say." Allen commented as they continued their conquest for breakfast. Or rather- lunch. Actually, considering it was the afternoon, it would have to be some sort of combination of a very late lunch.

"Moyashi, we slept in a hotel room with neon green wallpaper." Raine clarified. "I kinda doubt that's gonna be the weirdest thing we see on this trip."

"I think I'll have time to reflect on those repressed memories after I get something to eat." Allen whined, looking pitifully at his empty stomach. "Lavi, we've been walking around for hours. Can I at least get a candy bar to eat from a store or something?"

"But moyashi!" Lavi started. "We haven't a good place to eat yet!"

"The moyashi says he wants something to eat." Kanda said, dragging Lavi down to stare eye to eye with him. "He's gonna get something to eat."

"Okay."

"While you're finding something edible, make sure to get seconds for me!" Raine cried cheerfully.

"Does anyone have any money I can borrow?" Allen asked, to the utter disbelief of everyone in the group. He rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. "I think I left my wallet in the hotel room cause I can't find it now."

"Hey, I can't find my wallet either!" Lavi cried out in surprise.

"Lavi, you cheap-ass moocher, stop weaseling out of it and just give him the money!" Raine threatened. "I'm hungry, godamnit!"

"But I'm serious! I can't find it!"

"Here, I'll-" Raine started to say as her hands flew to all of her pockets. "Hey! I'm missing mine too!"

They turned slowly to look at Kanda. The left side of his face was doing some sort of odd twitching motion as he also came up empty handed. All of them stared at one another; there was no way that this could have been a coincidence.

"No way! How the hell were we all robbed!?" Lavi asked in shock. "It's not like anyone came up to us and-"

Silence fell upon the group as this statement dawned on them. And all four of them were having the exact same flashback, filled with black/white and grayscale memories and its own theme song. They had a flashback of a period of time that had only recently occurred about ten minutes ago. When Kanda had a temporarily lapse of sanity and had accidentally collided with two little boys.

Two evil little boys.

Kanda said one word that explained their situation quite accurately.

"…Fuck."

* * *

"So how the hell are we going to get money, lots of it, and fast?" asked Raine. They had reduced themselves to walking aimlessly around the town, without a single destination in mind or a single dollar in their pockets. The weather had turned darker and the clouds hung overhead like some sort of ominous sign.

"We can have Yuu stand on a corner and dance."

Kanda spun around and faced Lavi with murderous intent in his eyes. He tried to beat up the frightened bunny while yelling- "If it didn't work last time for that stupid school fundraiser you forced us to sign up for, what makes you think that it'll work this time!?"

"I was thinking that maybe you could actually take off your clothes this time." Lavi replied, ducking down from another close hit.

"We could sell Lavi's soul on the internet." Raine suggested.

"Like anyone would want to actually buy it." Kanda sneered.

"It's Lavi we're talking about." Allen pointed out, as he glanced worriedly at the darkening sky. "Who really wants a dysfunctional, overly-hyper soul?"

"Wait, why my soul?" asked a very confused Lavi. "Why are we only talking about my soul here?"

"Because you're the only one that's expendable here, stupid bunny!"

"Yuu's so mean!" he whimpered while crying on the shoulder of the emotion-less Raine. "I never knew how heartless and cold Yuu could be!"

"Umm. Guys, I-"

"Baka usagi, don't start getting so personal with me!" Raine snapped, this made Lavi cry even harder.

"Guys, doesn't-"

"Chibi, why do you have to be so cold? You're gonna turn out like Yuu-chan then!"

"...I see cake."

"WHERE!?" Raine and Lavi demanded as they grasped desperately at Allen's shoulder. "I NEED IT NOW!"

"Actually, I was using that to get your attention." he explained. "'Cause if we don't get off the street, we're gonna get drenched in rain in the next five minutes."

As it turned out- five minutes had turned into five seconds, because right after Allen had finished his sentence, it immediately started pouring. The streets were quickly washed with rainwater, and everyone dove for the nearest shelter for cover. All expect Raine, who had stood frozen on the street.

"You mean the cake's a lie?" Raine whimpered.

"We can fucking worry about that later!" Kanda yelled.

Allen and Lavi had to forcefully drag her off the street. They quickly ran, not wanting to get a free shower in the rain and searching for a dry place to hide underneath. The temperature had dropped considerably and the winds picked up as the rain poured down. The group wanted to get inside before the weather got any more. Kanda suddenly pulled the rest to the side into a nearest open store, and glaring resentfully that the horrible weather.

"I swear- this day keeps on getting better and better."

"I sure hope you're being your usual sarcastic self when you say that." Allen said, slumping in the nearest chair he could find with Timcanpy pulling on his wet hair. Allen swatted him away, but didn't protest when Timcanpy resumed his usual position on his head.

"I find it funny that the one place that Kanda decides to drag us into during the rain is a bar." Raine commented, looking around the setting.

They had stumbled into a nearly deserted bar, with a couple of shady people seated in the shadowed corners. The atmosphere was dark and quiet, the air was filled with the faint scent of alcohol and smoke. The bar was always empty during the afternoon, although later into the evening they were packed full of people heading home from work. Everyone had collapsed in relief of finding a safe place to stay.

Lavi eagerly moved to the stand to talk the bartender. "Do you have any food?"

"It's a bit early for people to come in. We usually open up later." The bartender looked up from his task of trying to cleaning the drinking glasses with the same filthy black cloth. "There's the lunchtime specials right now- we have slops and stew."

"What's the slops?"

"Yesterday's stew."

"Great! We'll take fourteen orders!" Lavi demanded, ready to start eating his fill of the unidentified mixture of food and other food-like substances. He was quickly hit when Kanda slammed his fist into the back of his head. "Maah! What was that for?"

"Just how are you expecting to pay for all that?" Kanda yelled. "Have you forgotten that we have no money?"

"Really? Must have slipped my mind." he mumbled thoughtfully to himself. Lavi let out a small yelp as he narrowly dodged another one of Kanda's fists. He darted pass him and hid behind Allen, using him and Timcanpy as a protective shield. "Yuu's so abusive!"

"Can we just stop fighting? It's not like it's gonna help us with our situation." Allen said. "Let's just wait until it stops raining and we'll head back to the hotel room to get the rest of our money and belongings. Then we'll file a police report on those boys or something."

"Doesn't look like it'll clear up anytime soon." Raine pointed out, looking through the window. The streets were already starting to overflow from the rain. "I think we're stuck here for quite awhile."

"So what can we do now?" Lavi asked in boredom, walking aimlessly around the room. He accidently tripped and dragged down a table and a couple of chairs with him. A deck of cards that had been on the table scattered the cards all over the floor. "Oops. Sorry about that!"

Allen smirked.

"Anyone up for a game of poker?"

* * *

The problem with Allen Walker was that first impressions are always false. Sure, he looked normal and innocent with his British accent and kind smile. But underneath that charming, unsuspecting facade, no one would ever imagine that Allen had a darker side to his personality. A figure that was so evil and malevolent, that little children cried in fear and puppy dogs died at the mere mention of him.

The dark side of Allen when he played poker.

Unfortunately, Raine was learning this fact just now.

Raine huffed in frustration as she stared at the lousy cards she held in her hands, and then glared at the smiling Allen seated across from her. So unassuming and innocent was that face; there had to be some sort of trick he was pulling! There was no other explanation why Allen Walker had bested thirteen games in a row!

She reached out to grab another card, and her eyes lit up. Slamming her hand down, Raine grinned winningly as she declared- "Four tens! Beat that!"

The same expression never left Allen's face, and time almost seem to move in slow motion as he showed his hand.

"Royal Straight Flush."

Raine stared unblinkingly in shock and disbelief at the set of cards in Allen's hand. As though if she stared long enough, then the cards would magically change into some other set of numbers. Weakly, she slowly turned to look behind at Lavi and Kanda in disbelief.

"I lost."

"I told you so." Lavi started, "No one could beat Allen at poker; he's just that epic. Aww well, at least you played against him pretty well. So what did you bet?"

"Lavi's soul."

"WHAT!?" he yelled, falling out of his seat in shock. "What the hell do you mean you bet my soul!?"

"Well, I didn't think that I would lose!"

"But you don't go around betting people's souls in poker games! Especially when they're your friend's soul and especially NOT when you're playing Allen Walker! You'll think that after thirteen games you'll finally learn you couldn't win against him!"

"I thought those were flukes! Besides, it's not that big of a deal once you think about it... Expect maybe for the fact that he now has complete ownage and control over your soul." she added the last part as an afterthought.

"Well, do you know what I think? I THINK THAT'S SORT OF A MASSIVE DEAL!"

"No one cares what you think." Kanda spoke up from the corner, looking quite amused at the situation. "Now get us some food, slave."

"I'm letting my workers union know about all the emotional abuse I have suffered under all of you!" Lavi cried out. "Besides, how am I suppose to pay for something with no money?"

"Just sell your body or something."

"..." Lavi was silent for a few minutes before mentally deciding not to comment on their lack of ability to sympathize with him, and instead he picked up his stool and moved away from them. "I think I'm gonna cry over my situation in this conveniently located corner for awhile now."

"That conversation was ridiculous." Allen said, shuffling the deck of cards.

"We're all pretty ridiculous to beginning with."

No one made any motion to disagree with Raine's statement. Instead, they were momentary distracted by the sound of someone's laughter.

"Well, isn't this an odd group."

They turned their heads to the side, where a couple of older men were seated near the bar watching them play. It seems they had entered to get shelter away from the soaking rain. The person that had been laughing at them was a young man with dark curly hair falling into his bug-eyed glasses and a sly grin on his face. He noticed they were looking at him and gave a mock bow of acknowledgement.

"Tyki Mikk," he introduced himself. "Glad to meet you."

"You got something to say to us?" Kanda asked, looking warily at the intruder of the conversation.

"Not really." Tyki said, getting up and heading in their direction and gesturing to the people behind him. "We just couldn't help but notice that you were playing poker. And I was wondering if you'll like to include my friends and I in a game or two."

"Don't start getting so friendly with us." he grunted.

"But I already introduced my name." Tyki pointed out. "And I believe that it's common courtesy to do the same when starting a conversation."

"Stop being so mean BaKanda." Allen said, cutting Kanda off when he was just starting to make another snarky comment. "It's just gonna be a friendly game."

"I'm in." said Raine. "It's better than losing to shorty _fourteen_ times in a row." She nodded to Allen who had thrown Timcanpy across the table in retaliation. Raine swatted at the flying golem. "Stupid golden snitch is trying to eat my brains!"

"Of course, it's not like we can bet on anything." Lavi said, diverting Tyki's attention to himself. "We sort of got robbed before we were chased off by the rain."

Tyki stared, as though he had finally noticed that Lavi was part of the group for the first time.

"Oh, that's no problem." he smirked. There was a sort of glint in his eyes as he walked towards Lavi's personal space by the corner, which had reduced itself greatly when Lavi found itself violated by one Tyki Mikk. "I was just wondering if you'll mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room."

"...What?"

"Well aren't you a cute one? Can I flirt with you?"

Lavi was speechless.

Tyki removed himself from the corner and turn around like nothing had happened. He began walking back to the bar while ignoring the incredulous look on their faces. "I'll let my friends know we have a game going."

There was silence.

Lavi blinked, and had absolutely no idea what to make of the situation. For once in his life, he was at a complete loss for words in his wide range of vocabulary. He turned to face the rest of his friends with question marks over his head.

"Did he just flirt with me?"

If this was an anime, everyone would have face-faulted.

"You mean you didn't notice?" Allen asked, sounding very amazed.

"And you actually sound surprised that it happened?" Raine cried.

"But I feel so violated and molested now!" he cried in defense. "He violated my personal bubble!"

"Are you suppose to feel happy that you were violated in the first place?" Allen asked him. Lavi started snickering aloud, which sounded more like a girlish giggle to everyone else. He opened his mouth to refer back to the incident he saw that morning in the bathroom.

"Well, you should know Allen, after what happened this morn-" He was silenced when Allen threw Timcanpy at him, and the force of the impact forced Lavi to fall down onto the floor. Allen looked very outraged and his face was glowing red.

"You swore you would never tell!"

"Why does it feel like I'm missing out on something." Raine whispered to herself, very ticked off. "Someone tell me already!"

"This morning in the ba-" Lavi started, before a shoe suddenly smacked him in the face.

"Oops. My shoe seems to have lodged itself into your mouth." Kanda stared blankly, and wiggled the left foot in the air. "I'll like it back now."

Lavi opened his mouth to complain if it weren't for the fact that Kanda had unleashed a very cold and intimidating glare. Knowing better than to speak out he quickly closed his mouth when Tyki sat down in the chair between Allen and Raine without his friends.

"Hey, bug-eyed-glasses," Raine asked. "What happened to your friends?"

"Well," he laughed nervously. "It seems they didn't want to play against a couple of shrimps."

He seem to have regretted the words the moment they had left his mouth, suddenly he was on the receiving end of two piercing glares. Tyki could literally feel the atmosphere around his shoulders increase from the pressure of the glares the two vertically challenged people at the other end.

"We have names." she said between gritted teeth. "And we are NOT that short."

"There's no need to get violent." Allen said softly, while his darker side grinned evilly at Tyki. "Of course, you're not allowed cry once we win."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, boy." Tyki answered back after regaining his composure, coughing silently to himself.

"Hey! Aren't I included?" Lavi asked, wondering why he wasn't playing too. He yelled in pain when Kanda decided that it was an excellent moment to practice his hand-eye coordination by launching his other shoe at the back of Lavi's head.

"Idiot. You couldn't lie to save your life. Much less bluff your way out of poker."

"I could so-"

"Lavi, stay out of this." Raine spoke in an icy tone.

"Eh? Chibi?" he was starting to get freaked out by the seriousness they were showing. "Moyashi?"

"This time it's personal." Allen said with a slight twitch at the side of his face, as he slid the deck of cards over to Tyki.

"Then what can I do?"

"Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips."

Lavi blinked once more, staring at the suggestively winking stranger. He pointed directly at Tyki while turning to looking at everyone else, Lavi whispered softly, as not to attract the attention of the potential stalker.

"Is it just me- or was he being really suggestive right now?"

"I think you're the only one that feels that way." Raine spoke up, not looking at him and choosing to glare fiercely at the cards in Tyki's hands instead.

"But it's true!"

"Yes, but no one else in this room -expect you- feels violated or molested by him."

"Let's make this game a little bit more interesting then." Tyki said while expertly shuffling the deck of cards so fast that all anyone could see were black/white blurs at the speed his hands were moving. "It's not any fun if there's no prize to be won. All of us will bet something and the person that wins three rounds gets all takes. It can be anything- like a piece of clothing or getting the other person to sing a song in front of the whole bar. So, what are you betting?"

"I'm betting Lavi's soul." Raine said, looking unimpressed at the card trick display Tyki was putting on. Allen turned to look at her.

"I thought I owned Lavi's soul!"

"We have joint-custody on his soul." she said. "And I'm the parent that he actually likes."

"Does that mean I have to pay for child support now?" Allen wondered, playing along with the little joke. "I already have enough of Cross' debts to cover."

"YOU'RE NOT BETTING MY SOUL AGAIN!" Lavi yelled from the bar, angry and outraged at the lack of tact his friends were showing. "I swear, I'll find forms to sue you for all the emotional damage you've done to me during this trip!"

"Fine! Then Lavi's soul is off-limits." Raine huffed and looked at their opponent. "Hey, freaky-glasses-guy you call the shots."

"Well, it kinda depends. How desperate are you to win?"

"We just offered you ownership of our friend's soul. How desperate do you think we are?" Allen asked blankly.

"Fair enough." Tyki shrugged. "Tell you what- if you win I'll pay you 500 dollars right here. But if I win, then I get to take your bunny friend for a little ride."

"Lavi, we're betting your soul again." Raine yelled.

**"I JUST SAID NO!"**

"Too bad! This guy won't wager on anything else."

"Wait, you're betting my soul to the potential rapist?" Lavi blinked. "...You have no idea how mind-warping that last sentence has made on my sanity."

"I can only imagine." Kanda snorted, which sounded like something that was a cross between frustration and annoyance, before forcing himself onto his feet with both his shoes _on_. His friends watched as he quickly stride past them without saying anything, walked over to the door and grabbed an umbrella from the stand next to the coat rack.

"Where are you going?"

"I've been stuck here for an hour doing nothing but watching people get drunk and wasted. As much fun it is to watch all of you play yet _another_ game of poker-" at this, he rolled his eyes. "I think I'll take a walk outside."

"But it's raining!"

"Moyashi, I'm gonna ignore you right now." Kanda said, walking out on Allen's empty protests and disappeared under the heavy rainfall.

There was short moment of stunned silence-

-that was ruined when Raine turned around and said- "So where were we? Ah, I remember! We were just about really to kick your ass."

Tyki held an expression that matched hers. "I'm not too sure about that."

Allen smirked.

Evilly.

This was not gonna turn out so good.

* * *

It was after Allen's fifth win in a row that got Tyki to start thinking that perhaps- he was in a little too far over his head this time.

There was certainly something wrong with this current situation. Allen Walker sat directly across from him, with a handful of cards and a spiteful smile on his face that contrasted with the pervious innocence he had displayed. Tyki had thought that playing a couple of games with these strangers would pass the time as his friends waited for the rain to stop. Tyki wasn't really serious about the bet before, because he never thought he would have to face such an opposing adversary.

The side of his face twitched as he stared at the horrible hand he held. Not even a single matching pair of cards!

And the white-haired brat still had on that never changing smile.

Yes, something was terribly wrong here.

"I give up!" the Asian girl suddenly said, throwing her entire hand in. "I keep on getting nothing but shitty cards!"

"Raine, you can't quit in the middle of the game." Allen spoke up, not looking away from his cards.

"Maah, chibi!" their red-haired friend spoke from behind them. "Don't give up yet!"

"Forget it, Lavi. Anyways, Allen's winning every single game, so it's completely pointless."

Tyki listened in to their conversation while trying to distract them from the game. "So your name is Lavi." he smiled at the sudden perk of attention he got from the red-haired boy. "That's interesting." Inwardly he smirked. Oh yes, very interesting indeed.

"Hey Tyki!" he looked up to see his friends snickering at the bar. "Losing to a bunch of kids now are you?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure that this one is cheating." Tyki replied, pointing to the innocent looking Allen. "I just can't figure out how."

Allen feigned a look of innocence and looked hurt at the accusation. "Me? Of course not!"

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." spoke another voice.

A tall, dark figure stood in the middle of the door. Huge and deformed, it was an intimidating shadowy figure that brought a sudden sweeping change of fear into everyone's heart. The thunderbolts and white-bolts of lightning in the background were very frightening. Timcanpy had immediately flew into the comforting haven of Allen's hair, and Tyki was highly displeased to notice that Lavi had grabbed the Asian girl in terror.

"Someone save me!"

"Shut up Lavi! You're making a scene!" snapped a familiar voice.

"What I know that voice!" Allen said. "Cold, sarcastic and full of heartless emotions..."

"Could it be that our beloved Yuu had returned to us?" exaggerated Raine in a girlish voice.

"Keep talking like that and I'll turn you into a pin cushion." the thinly veiled threat did nothing to escape the fact that a soaking wet Kanda was standing in a puddle of rain water that had dropped from his clothes. He had somehow lost the umbrella along that way and underneath both his arms were two struggling boys.

"...Who are those?"

"I found the stupid brats." he stated to the obvious observation of everyone in the pub. Kanda dropped his hold on Leo and John, letting them fall heavily onto the floor. They both groaned painfully in their tangled, wet piles for a couple of minutes before one of them decided to ask-

"Hey! That really hurt!"

"What do you want from us?"

"Beg for your forgiveness." Kanda commanded to the shock of the onlookers.

"What? No way!" John exclaimed, standing up to look up to him. This made very little difference, as he barely even came up to Kanda's chest. "It's not our fault that you were stupid enough to allow yourself to get mugged in the first place!"

"Then I'll beat the forgiveness outta you fucking brats."

"Now, now." Lavi cut in, trying to settle things. "We can't ac-"

"Keep talking and you're next." Kanda threatened, before something smacked the back of his head. "The fuck was that for?"

"That's no way to speak." frowned Allen, trying looking Kanda straight in the eye, and ignoring the fact that Kanda was refusing to meet his gaze. He kneed down in front of the boys and smiled kindly at them. "We just want our money and wallets back, that's all."

"What makes you think we took them?" they challenged.

"Hey, kids. You just admitted to the crime when you said you mugged us." Raine explained. "Now act like good little brats and fork them over."

"You got no proof!"

"You can hand it over, or-" Allen nodded his head to Kanda. "We can just hand you over to the angry samurinja over there."

Both boys paled to pale white, as Kanda sneered angrily at them. Leo and John looked at each other and came to the immediate conclusion that 'fessing up to their crimes was much better compared to facing judgment at the hands of the angry samurinja.

"Here." they said, taking the wallets out of their pockets. "Not like it's any use. We didn't even have time to spend anything 'cause the weather rained us out."

"Sweet!" Lavi cried, hugging his wallet to his chest. "I missed you so much!"

"Anyone else find this psychologically disturbing?" Raine asked, while Kanda turned his head the other way.

Allen turned "Sorry, we have to stop this game so soon, but we really need to be heading back to our hotel room now."

"Ah, not a problem." Tyki waved them off, hoping they would forget the little bet they had going on at the beginning of the poker game. "I just hope that one day we'll be able to finish our little game. And maybe play a couple more of my own." he slyly added, with all this attention focused entirely on Lavi, who was trying to blend into the carpentry of the pub.

"Okay! Well, we better get going now!" Lavi sweated, trying to push everyone to the exit.

"Moyashi, how the hell did you keep on winning at every single game?" Raine wondered.

"You want to know a little secret?" Allen asked softly, watching her nod in curiosity. He motioned for her to lean in closer with his left hand. And he moved forward, until his mouth was next to her ear. Slowly, with a smile on his face, Allen whispered- _"I cheat."_

The expression on her face was completely priceless. She stared blankly at the smiling face of Allen Walker, and watched as he continued to walk forward and a demonic grin appeared onto his face. All the while she was thinking-

_This person has no guilt!_

"Is he always like this when he plays poker?" Raine asked, watching the other member of the group nod. Lavi decided at this moment to add in-

"Allen is a pro in the fine art of mindfuckary."

"Excuse me?"

"You know, he plays the part of the innocent naive teenage boy, the sweet, normal type of kid. He has this air of childhood happiness around him and looks like he has no clue at how to play poker. Five games later, you're sitting buck naked in the middle of the bar. You're waist deep in a shitload of debts, your wallet is empty, and this kid didn't even remove a button! Allen is like a modern brain-ninja, gets into your head and just majorly mindfucks it up."

"...Is that even a word?"

"Mindfuckary? How do you even come up with shit like that?" Kanda asked.

"Well, I've watched a lot of abridged series in my misspent youth." Lavi explained giving a side-ways shrug. "Besides sometimes the kind of junk that happens to our group demands me to make up words just to describe the moment."

"Clearly you have issues that can only be resolved by years of counseling and constant therapy."

"But I don't wanna go back!"

"Oh, yes there's nothing strange about us at all." Allen whispered to himself, which unfortunately was overheard by everyone else.

"You want to start a fight, moyashi?"

"Quiet, BaKanda!"

And so, the strange group of comrades left the bar bickering and arguing until they reached their hotel room.

They failed to notice that a pair of eyes behind bug-glasses were following every single step that a certain bunny boy was making as he walked down the streets. They didn't even notice the predatory glint that flickered in the darken pair of eyes, or the sly smile that appeared on his face.

Tyki smirked to himself.

Things were about to become very interesting.

* * *

**A/N:** _(stares uneasily at the end of a gun)_ I'm about to be shot, aren't I?

I'm sorry! There is absolutely no reason why I left this fic to gather bytes of dust in my hard drive for the last two months without a single consideration. I have a recurring habit of starting projects but never actually finishing them. It never used to be a problem, because I didn't show my writing to anyone, but I finally noticed that it is rather concerning when you don't update for two months. There's also the fact that writer's block is a giant pain in the fucking ass to deal with.

Anyways, so I managed to corrupt a couple of freshmen and my friends to start reading DGM. It was successful, since most of them became DGM fangirls.

Halloween is coming up pretty soon. I love the fact that it's on a Friday this year! I'm planning to trick-or-treat with a bunch of my friends (no- you're NEVER too old for dressing up like freaks to get free candy. I do the exact same thing when I'm cosplaying.) And I'm also considering going as Kanda in his 3rd version uniform.

**Tofu-** Meeh, I really wished I had written this chapter better. Seems kinda...off in a way.

**Chibi Lavi-** _(runs past)_ SAVE ME!

**Chibi Tyki-** _(chases after)_ Aren't you interested in a game, my pet bunny?

**Tofu-** ...I think I finally realized the evil I had unleashed.

**Chibi Allen-** ...You know, maybe inventing stalker!Tyki wasn't such a good idea.

**Chibi Kanda-** Great. Instead of picking up hitchhikers, we're attracting stalkers and weirdoes.

**Chibi Raine-** I think it's cute...in a kinda unhealthy obsessive stalker sort of way.


End file.
